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Will Rogers Quotes

77 quotations by Will Rogers

QuoteYou can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.Quote

QuoteWhy don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.Quote

QuoteWhen the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.Quote

QuoteWhat the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.Quote

QuoteWe will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.Quote

QuoteThis thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.Quote

QuoteThings in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.Quote

QuoteThings ain't what they used to be and never were.Quote

QuoteThere's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.Quote

QuoteThere ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.Quote

QuoteThere is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.Quote

QuoteThe United States never lost a war or won a conference.Quote

QuoteThe only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.Quote

QuoteThe only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.Quote

QuoteThe more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.Quote

QuoteThe more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.Quote

QuoteThe farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.Quote

QuoteThe difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.Quote

QuoteThe best way out of a difficulty is through it.Quote

QuoteThe 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.Quote

QuoteTake the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.Quote

QuoteSo live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.Quote

QuotePolitics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.Quote

QuotePeople's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.Quote

QuotePeople who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.Quote

QuoteOne-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.Quote

QuoteOne Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.Quote

QuoteOn account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.Quote

QuoteOhio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.Quote

QuoteNever let yesterday use up too much of today.Quote

QuoteMake crime pay. Become a lawyer.Quote

QuoteLive in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.Quote

QuoteLettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.Quote

QuoteLet advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.Quote

QuoteIt's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.Quote

QuoteIt's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.Quote

QuoteIt isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.Quote

QuoteInstead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.Quote

QuoteIf you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.Quote

QuoteIf you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.Quote

QuoteIf the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.Quote

QuoteIf Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?Quote

QuoteIf advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.Quote

QuoteI'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!Quote

QuoteI never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.Quote

QuoteI have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.Quote

QuoteI don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.Quote

QuoteI don't know jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.Quote

QuoteI bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."Quote

QuoteI am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.Quote

QuoteHalf our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.Quote

QuoteEverything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.Quote

QuoteEverything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.Quote

QuoteEverybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.Quote

QuoteEven though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.Quote

QuoteEven if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.Quote

QuoteEven if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.Quote

QuoteDon't let yesterday use up too much of today.Quote

QuoteDon't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.Quote

QuoteDiplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.Quote

QuoteDiplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.Quote

QuoteDemocrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.Quote

QuoteBeing a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.Quote

QuoteBe thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.Quote

QuoteAnything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.Quote

QuoteAncient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?Quote

QuoteAn onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.Quote

QuoteAn economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.Quote

QuoteAmerica is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.Quote

QuoteAmerica is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.Quote

QuoteAll I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.Quote

QuoteAlexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.Quote

QuoteA remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.Quote

QuoteA man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.Quote

QuoteA holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.Quote

QuoteA fool and his money are soon elected.Quote

QuoteA difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.Quote