Steve Allen Quotes
9 quotations by Steve Allen
 | Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized. |  |
| The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake. | |
| Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. | |
| One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations. | |
| In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders. | |
| If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war. | |
| If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow. | |
| I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind. | |
| Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots. | |