Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1982)

prescient glimpse from early 80's

This was a random purchase, as I had never heard of it. What a find! I'll skip a review of plot, as others have covered that extensively.

As the Lane/Dern commentary makes clear, this was not a reaction to the trends of the times, apart from the tacked-on ending, filmed two years later. Mostly filmed in February 1980, it actually predated the rise of so-called girl bands (e.g., go-gos, bangles, etc.) and hard-core mass manipulation that exploded at that time. Put CNN, growth of cable, computers and MTV together and look out society! Watching the throngs of "skunks" in the mall, with their look-alike "stains" outfits predicted the "Madonna wannabe" trend that hit a few years later. This movie gets huge bonus points for predicting the future dead on. October 12, 2008

untitled

I freaking love this movie. mostly in part because ray winstone is in it, and he's awesome. Not to mention the songs rock, with the occasional exception. October 8, 2008

The film okay, the DVD awful.

This was a terrific film, in concept, in casting, and in filming; it was gritty and dirty and true to life- almost prophetic of the instant fame to infamy cycle we are living through today all with a backstage access . The DVD though is a total wash . The captioning doesn't work, the photo gallery doesn't exist . If you must have a copy of this, wait until a major studio releases it . October 4, 2008

Excellent!!!

I absolutely love this movie! I love Diane Lane, she is amazing in everything she does and this is no exception! Great acting by Diane and everyone else too. Very fun. I own all of her movies and this movie was awesome! I highly recommend to everyone! Go get it!!! September 23, 2008

Rockers - Avoid this one! Boring, Childish and Dimwitted.

I so much wanted to love this one, but on every level it's simply a drag. A MAJOR drag, due to the fact that the central storyline of this particular girl band becoming cult heroes overnight is totally unbelievable.

These three girls become stars overnight because their motto is "We Don't Put Out?" Puh-leez... who wrote this script, Donny Osmond?

Diane Lane's performance is one dimensional, one sour, pouty note hit again and again, and the ensemble acting is cliched and relentlessly dreary with the exception of the very young Ray Winstone, giving a hint of future greatness...

...But even he struggles against an absolutely moronic script. I mean literally without intelligence, literally stupid and senseless. This isn't what backstage looks like, it isn't what life on the road feels like, it's entirely inauthentic. Devoid of fun, devoid of emotion, and after one song entirely devoid of rock. It stuns me that Lou Adler's name is associated with this work, because otherwise I would have to assume that no one associated with it except the ex Clash and Sex Pistols lads had any hands-on knowledge of the rock and roll business.

Speaking of these three actual musicians, any director with a pulse would have seen that these guys had the most interesting and authentic feel about them. Why are they given so few moments on the screen? Blink twice and you miss them.

I'd make a serious wager that this groaner never got released to theaters because it tested so poorly with preview audiences. Unless made up of Girl Scout troops in Salt Lake City and their parents, any test group imaginable would have laughed this turkey off the screen.

Think about what dreck was seen onscreen in those days if it had the slightest rock and roll marketability. Think of the worst film you saw on a theater screen in the late Seventies to early Eighties. Well, this was considered to be WORSE THAN THAT, not even worthy of dumping on the drive-in circuit. Does that tell you anything?

Total dud. The "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of rock and roll movies. But not as well made.

Two stars for Ray Winstone and his bandmates and one fairly cool number. But that's all. Two minutes out of what feels like an endless eternity of bland baloney.

Skip this one and watch Joan Jett in "Light of Day," which looks, sounds, tastes and smells like the real thing.

No laughs here, no guilty pleasure. Just a waste of an hour and a half of your life. Not every lost film is a gem. Sometimes it's just a few reels of garbage that somehow floated to the surface.



September 22, 2008

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