American Crude (2007)

Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalow) Ron Livingston (Office Space) Jennifer Esposito (Taxi) and Michael Clarke Duncan (School for Scoundrels) give hilarious performances in this off-beat comedy! For years Johnny (Livingston) had been successful devising schemes that would help him achieve the American Dream. Until the night he throws a bachelor party for his best friend. Now before the frantic evening is over all his best-laid plans comes crashing down as the paths of several highly eccentric characters (including a transsexual prostitute a runaway virgin a gorgeous gone-wilding ex-con and a porn king) converge in this seriously twisted comedy where no deed - good or bad - goes unpunished.System Requirements:Running Time: 98 minutesFormat: DVD MOVIE Genre: COMEDY/COMING OF AGE Rating: R UPC: 043396228474 Manufacturer No: 22847 Product Description

Up From The Ground Came A Bubblin'...

AMERICAN CRUDE comes over a decade after its inspiration. Movies like Pulp Fiction don't lose their brilliance in the dust of years, but it's films like AMERICAN CRUDE that make people forget what they once did for the business.

Written and directed by Craig Sheffer (Keith of One Tree Hill), the movie is desperate to sound biting and witty. Transvestite prostitutes debate against vegetarianism (arguing that they have a consciousness because they turn to face the sun and neglecting, of course, to mention the fine points of phototropism). Jaded spouses debate the merits and purposes of marriage (a painfully unclever argument with wrinkles all over it). Hillbilly farm boys woo unsuspecting virgins by citing the biological imperative of the human body. It's lumpy, clumsy, poorly worded stuff.

I don't know how relatively talented individuals like Ron Livingston, Ron Barry, Michael Clarke Duncan, and John C. McGinley ended up floundering in this lame horse of a film. Even Rob Schneider (who I think can sometimes have his place in a film) is horribly miscast, dutifully playing it straight to his (for some reason) best friend, Ron Livingston's smarmy and corrupt attorney. (Schneider, now that I think about it, does the best job of acting in the whole film, and his character -- the one person trying to do the right thing -- is a welcome pace, surrounded as he is by a whole cadre of selfish, whining, argumentatively shrill losers.)

The stories sputter out before the movie is even halfway finished, but that's mainly because the writing is so bad. The directing shows promise but is tortured by a lack of focus. Trying so hard to be a dark comedy and culturally relevant and philosophically edgy and wistfully ironic, the film spins out of control. But I'm not really describing its flaws aptly; "spins out of control" makes it sound vibrant or at least energetic. This stupid little flick is neither.

One thing that can be said for it: it is certainly crude. It's not the most vulgar movie I've ever seen, but it wants to be. Perhaps if there were more creative power involved in the making, it could have at least shocked and titilated. Instead, it manages the astounding feat of being both offensive and boring. The various stories eventually come together -- much like PULP FICTION -- but unlike Tarantino's film, the result is a dull, headachy mess. And even though I'm one of those people who are always willing to give Rob Schneider a chance, I will say that it's bad news when he is the best thing about the movie. July 28, 2008

Absolute Garbage

Hyperbole aside, this is the worst film I have ever seen in my life. Makes 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' look like 'Citizen Kane'. The people responsible for the creation of this mess should be beaten about the head and neck with lead pipes. There is absolutely nothing to recommend about this film and one has to wonder how desperate for a paycheck any of the actors must have been to work on this disaster. Avoid this like the plague. June 9, 2008

Not what you would want from this cast..

What will attract most people to this film is the likes of Livingston and MCD, but I will have to warily warn those who might expect a grand film of cult acting and "dark" irony - avoid this unless maybe intoxicated. Even after watching this I think nothing less of these two great actors and people - they probably did not see/know the entire product before it was finished.

To describe the story would waste the reader's time - plainly stated - a mess of love, betrayal, bisexualism, incarcerated narration, transgendered prostitution, and a few other wannabe intellectual storytelling. Schneider seemed miscast but played his role - BUT JCM - most people's favorite from Scrubs played a short but demented role (that I am sure he will neglect to tell his boy about) that I think will lead to the most fast-forwarded parts of the film - he played just like Dr. Cox - except he was begging for and actually getting sex.

Probably, this will be the most numerically laden A-list cast in a movie (in this time period) that will wish they had nothing to do with it. Most of my customers know how I review films and this is definitely one of those that I would say to skip unless they are having a few drinks with buddies and looking for some flashy background visuals - soundtrack is non-existent and the storyline is a mess of garbage that would be best followed while having a party where no one is really paying attention anyway...if anything - MCD looks like he is between takes of Sin City 1 and 2 - and RL had to fill time between making quality films.

Gave a few stars just on the cast alone.
June 1, 2008

Funnier than I thought it would be.

I saw an editor's copy of this video and I was surprised that I found myself thoroughly amused. I watched the entire video and at times, laughed out loud. Of course, it's not Oscar material, but it's fun. Try it, keep an open mind, remember it's fiction, and it's fun. The actor's did a great job. May 17, 2008

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