Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

a gem

this is a gem, not that well known but critically well received, some said the best picture of the year; Ryan Gosling is just right, a delicate portrait which becomes completely believeable; funny, touching, heart warming August 29, 2008

More relatable than you think...

How do you show your friends you love them? What words do you use? What actions do you take? What objects in your life take on a meaning bigger than intended? "Lars and the Real Girl" is about how families, neighbors, and friends cope with mental illness. But to stop there would be insincere.

Lars is an introvert on the far end of the scale who avoids contact with others as much as possible. However, things change when Lars tells his brother and sister in law (his neighbors) that he has met someone - a woman. The problem is, that woman happens to be a sex doll named "Bianca."

The movie is advertised in a way to make you assume it is (yet) another film about a quirky guy/girl whom the world just doesn't get. Even the back of the DVD box makes it seem like it is a romantic story about finding true love, as though "Lars" is a sort of off beat romantic comedy. However, this is not a flat, callous movie with alienating "catch-quirk" characters (like Napolean Dynamite or Juno). Lars is different. It takes its characters and themes way below the surface.

"Lars" works on multiple levels. Many people have wondered what therapy would be like if they went. Look no further than here. Patricia Clarkson's character is written and acted so well (playing both an MD and a therapist - which is true of smaller towns), that I felt as though I was peering in on a master therapist at work. For example, many of us might ask Lars about Bianca and try to "fix" or understand the problem. However, when Lars is first presented to the therapist, she doesn't ask. She lets Lars tell her when he is ready. Her focus is on her professional, yet intimate relationship with Lars. She is not concerned with hurriedly fixing a "problem."

Second, Lars's family reaction and coping to his diagnosis is very real. When they are told what Lars has, one member wants to fix it right away. "How long does this illness last?" "What medicine can he take that will change him quickly?" "Won't this be embarrassing?" The other simply asks, "How can we help?" It is a perfect response to someone in crisis. Watching not only the family, but the town characters love Lars is a workable template for how we can respond to those in crisis.

This is where the film got unrealistic to me. There is no way that a large group of people could love someone so much. On my first viewing, this ruined the movie for me because I assumed it was asking me to "watch" a silly movie. However, on my second viewing, the film simply asked "what if?" What if a group of people truly loved so much that they selflessly held and walked with someone without advice giving, "shoulds," or nagging? There is one powerful line where a character says "That's what friends do in times of crisis. They sit and they wait." Job's comforters are nowhere to be found and it powerfully relates to the viewer how we can love others in times of unknown. We can simply sit, wait, and listen.

Thematically, "Lars and the Real Girl" can be boiled down to being a movie about love in several forms. While there is much to say about this, I most want to comment on another theme of the movie - the themes of projection and attachment. It is important that we consider when we watch the film what the power of individual objects can be for us. Lars's condition is not one without relation. "Bianca" is very much a real person in spite of her plastic frame. She is real because Lars projects onto her what is real to him. He projects onto her a relationship where Bianca is the manifestation of Lars's reality. For Lars to be that vulnerable and open with real people is too difficult for him.

While this may seem strange, I would argue that what happens to Lars is something that has happened to you. How many of us can recall a doll, stuffed animal, invisible friend or other blank object who was real and existed to us? They had no identity and language, save for the way we made them to be. Those objects represented something to us. For Lars, Bianca is his means of dealing with physical touch, grief, and human relationship (among other things). She is blank canvas of emotions and attachment patterns that are unique to Lars.

"Lars and the Real Girl" is funny and painful with a tender texture. That is because these are what love and relationships at their most real can be. They can be funny, painful, selfless, intimate, and bear the birthmarks of the soul. When we love one another past our understanding of normal, the power of that love can be more than we really know. "Lars and the Real Girl" gets my highest recommendation. August 19, 2008

So implausible, so nice!

I don't know much of mental illness, but the storyline truly felt completely implausible. So implausible that indeed it's hard to understand how the script, the direction and the acting could have made such a sweet and touching movie.

Acting, in particular, was just superb. I felt like watching real (ok, mostly too good to be real) people really dealing with the weirdest of situations. This is one of those rare movies where you empathize with the characters and you feel like jumping into the screen to talk to them and help them out.

With such an outlandish storyline, lesser directors would have made the n-th unnecessary stupid movie with sexual jokes and stereotyped characters. But Mr Gillespie has instead created one of the nicest feel-good movies I have seen in recent years. Congratulations to him, to Ms Oliver for such an excellent screen-writing and to the all the actors for a delightful movie! Highly highly recommended. August 9, 2008

Too close to real life

Okay, this story could not have happened in real life. Getting doctors, hospitals, cemetaries and pretty much a whole community involved in this plot would never happen no matter how well intentioned the townspeople are. That said, this is one delightful movie. It is funny, warm and thoughtful. If I had an issue with this film it is that..well, I won't go into my personal life too much, but I watched this with...Let's just say that our family has its own Bianca which made the film even more fun to watch. I say, go ahead and watch it. You might want to buy it. Mental health issues aside, this is a movie that is designed to melt your heart and it does. Definately worth a viewing or two. Oh, and it might be more fun if you're watching it with a group. August 8, 2008

I don't buy a lot of movies, but I bought this one!

It's just so sweet, funny, sad, and sweet. (Yes, I wrote that sweet twice because it really is.) It made me feel good and I love that a community embraced a man with mental illness and they (the community) all grew because of it! It's a feel good movie that I've watched 3 times now. ...and my husband loves it too! August 2, 2008

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