Boardinghouse (1983)

A man with telekinetic power inherits a big house with a horrible past. He opens the house up as a boarding house and very quickly becomes inhabited by a group of gorgeous women. Soonthe long sleeping evil supernatural power inhabiting the house starts to killing off the tenants one by one. System Requirements:Runtime: 88 Mins Format: DVD MOVIE Genre: HORROR/SUPERNATURAL Rating: R UPC: 891978002031 Manufacturer No: CRD2008 Product Description

What tedium resides in the Boarding House...

When I heard this near legendary shot on video cheapie was headed for a dvd release I was quite elated. In my teen years of renting many a horror film on vhs from the local video store I had seen the preview for Boarding House ad infinitum and was enthralled, I guess the combination of over the top gore and large breasts was enticing to my testoterone laden youth. I have finally had the dubious opportunity to view Boarding House on dvd and must say it failed to live up to its hype on every level.
The plot is simple enough, a rich guy with a horrifying eighties haircut acquires an old mansion with a history of murder and suicide. The entrepreneur, who also benefits from telepathic powers decides to turn his crummy looking tenement into a boarding house for b-list porn star wannabees in an obvious ploy to get laid.
I have seen some bad movies in my day-The Creeping Terror, Robot Monster, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Orgy Of The Dead...but for sheer mind numbing dullness and idiocy its hard to top Boarding House. It's not even bad in an enjoyable type of way, it's simply an atrocious waste of time and money.
The lack of dialogue was particularly frustrating, the intrusive narration was annoying to no end. Really who wants to watch a film where characters are talking to each other while the viewer is immersed in silence or cheesy sound effects. The much vaunted gore effects were amateurish and stupid looking, no Tom Savini FX magic here. Instead we get lots of fake looking blood and effects that look as though they were conceived as part of a high school film project.
The acting was non-existent, but it's really hard to judge in a film that is almost absent of plot. Truth be told I was so bored I had to turn the film off after a near hysterical scene where one of the bimbo victims tries to escape a blood soaked shower by repeatedly slamming her enormous ta-tas in the glass shower door. This has to be seen to be believed.
If Boarding House was taken as a below average made for tv film or an unintentional comedy, it would most certainly still stink. I truly hoped for a low budget classic like Basket Case or The Deadly Spawn, this however is unentertaining grade z garbage. In hindsight, I kind of wish I had never watched it and just remembered Boarding House for those cool looking trailers from the bygone days of vhs tape. August 8, 2008

Boring House

OgeeeezGAWWwd!! Wow, this sucks the worse thing it could find. Best way to describe this mess...filmed as a cross between a daytime soap and a porn flick, meaning same exact quality of film, "effects" lol, music, directing and "acting". Oh, they threw some piles of red paint or whatever it is everywhere periodically so they could call it horror. Just take my word for it and save your money, it's not even worth one of those bunch of dollars that they have the nerve to ask for this junk. I like all of the Code Red releases of cheesy stuff I've seen, to some degree or another (The Forest, Sole Survivor, The Dead Pit, The Chilling) , but not this heap! I Always thought Sub Rosa Films were the worst, the way they film in that really bad home movie style with very poor or no acting/directing skills...until now. Those of you who have viewed any of those films know just what I mean. Well, this is WORSE. July 19, 2008

Do not buy this film

Don't buy this film because it can get you nightmares and can let you have anxiety attacks. Like me. June 28, 2008

Insane, bizarre, demented do not describe this freakshow!

BOARDINGHOUSE is a micro-budget shot-on-video horror movie which is arguably the first-ever direct-to-video movie ever produced (and almost definitely the first shot-on-video movie transferred to 35mm and shown in theaters). While at first glance it seems to be nothing more than a cheap piece of schlock shot in someone's backyard, what makes BOARDINGHOUSE stand out amid the hordes of other such movies is the movie's undeniably off-the-wall atmosphere, demented performances and amusingly ameteurish make-up and visual effects. The average viewer will no doubt be completely bewildered, but fans of underground horror and drive-in exploitation will be delighted by this unrelentingly weird little freakshow. May 15, 2008

B-movie from HELL

Can't get any more "B" than this. There are some disturbing parts in this film. The acting is very similar to an adult movie. I just like the gore represented here. If that's what you're into, you'll appreciate this film. If you're looking for a good plot and reasonable acting. Keep searching. April 9, 2008

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