Masters of Horror: The Washingtonians (2007)

What if everything we believe about our sacred icons of american history turned out to be a complete lie? suppose for example that the father of our country was actually a blood crazed cannibal? how far will a group of homocidal historians go to keep a heros grisly legacy alive? Studio: Starz/sphe Release Date: 09/18/2007 Starring: Jonathon Schaech Saul Rubinek Run time: 58 minutes Product Description

Often amusing episode of MOH

Based on a Bentley Little short story, The Washingtonians is an often amusing episode of Masters of Horror that puts a new kind of spin on the founding fathers. What if George Washington was a cult leader of child eating cannibals? That's what Mike (Johnathon Schaech) finds out after accidentally uncovering a hidden letter behind a portrait that was written by Washington himself, and soon enough he's being hunted by present day followers of Washington's ways, that will do anything to keep their secrets safe. The more ridiculous that The Washingtonians gets, the better it gets for the most part, and when it borderlines on complete and utter absurdity before the credits start to roll. Directed by the often underrated Peter Medak (The Changeling, Species II), The Washingtonians is nevertheless gory, enjoyable, and entertaining, and in those respects alone, that's all that really matters. All in all, as long as you don't take it too seriously, The Washingtonians is an amusing ride. March 24, 2008

A Real Horror....but not in a good way

Several of the MOH episodes have been quite entertaining, so I decided to give this one a try. It starts off in promising fashion, with some creepy scenes and atmosphere, but it rapidly becomes a ridiculous farce. The "actress" portraying the daughter is the most annoying member of a cast that wallows in mediocrity. She has no apparent talent other than to scream piercingly. I found myself watching the final scenes in fervent hope that she would meet a ghastly end, but as with everything else in this poorly conceived and executed mess, I was ultimately disappointed.

If the concept of a "federal" SWAT team (called in by a...are you ready for this?...concerned history professor) summarily executing a gathering of flesh-eating lunatics wearing powdered wigs and colonial costumes, in order to conceal the fact that George Washington was a child-eating cannibal seems plausible or even remotely interesting to you, then by all means waste an hour of your time, as I did, wading through this silly, disappointing, amateurish farce.

To be honest, the general concept was so outlandish that, in more expert hands, it might have been entertaining. Too bad that Eli Roth or Robert Rodriguez weren't chosen to direct it. The scenes through the door peephole of the colonial cannibals in powdered wigs attempting to appear menacing with their rotted teeth and painted red lips (in true Mick Jagger fashion) was mildly amusing, but ultimately, the atrocious acting, laughable script, and wretched direction summarily execute (in true SWAT style) any chance of enjoyment.

You have been warned. This is a really lousy episode of MOH and the daughter character alone will make you root for the cannibals. Suffer through it at your own peril. December 28, 2007

Please enter a title for your review:

another equal worst episode of the series. the entire thing is like watching paint dry from start to finish. it could have been edited down to 5 minutes and would still have failed to hold my interest. it has two of the requisite bloody/gore scenes typical of the series which are used entirely for gross out value, not inciting any fear or atmosphere. December 7, 2007

A solid entry

This MOH episode is not scary in the least, but it is original. I think it's something that you will enjoy best around presidents day. It's gory and campy. Don't go in with super high expectations, and you should be pleasantly surprised. November 20, 2007

Doesn't Match the Short Story, But is a Fun Ride

Bentley Little's short story of the same title is a classic, original black humor-ish horror tale. I was stoked that they decided to bring this one to the screen, and did end up enjoying the film. The imagery was terrific, but the altered ending and lack of development kept it from taking the original tale to the next level.

The gory scenes of cannibalism with eerie pale faced, powder-wigged Gentlemen going to town on the corpses were shot just right. The dialouge was decent and the acting was mediocre, rather forgettable, really save for the Washingtonians themselves who come off as creepy and feisty.

Worth a look if you enjoy tongue in cheek horror flicks and have a twisted sense of humor.

November 11, 2007

More reviews at Amazon.com ...