300 (2007)

 Fun Bloodshed At Its Best
A great STORY (that's what too many people fail to remember) and a great movie. There is no doubt license has been taken with this piece of history, but as a whole, the film is a fine work. Bloody and beautiful, 300 delivers from start to finish. May 5, 2008

 a parody of itself
I am sorry, but no movie this unintentionally hilarious can be the height of action films. This is not a fundamental action film at all; one might be able to argue that 300 is essential viewing for its visual style, but I would rather invest my time in Sin City.

Over the years, many people have spoke out insisting that comic books are trash, and I think I have even heard comic books called "visual pornography." Comics are much much more than visual pornography; they are a complex art form that has evolved far beyond the basement subculture of geeks. Comics encompass griping stories, complex characters with endless depth, insights into society, and many many underlying themes.

I bring this up because 300 is visual pornography and sadly nothing more. The cinema is gorgeous. As far as a graphic novel to cinema adaptation goes, 300 might just be the best. However, the half-naked Spartans coupled with the over-the-top violence do nothing outside of the visual spectrum. And, the passionless (and arguably pornographic) sex scenes are the cherry on top for this visceral, but shallow movie experience.

People still love visceral and mindless cinema, so if you are not discouraged yet I also want to note that 300 has quite a bit of underlying homoeroticism. If that does not bother you then maybe Snyder's abuse of slow motion will. 3/4s of this movie is shot in slow motion. They even throw in a little slow motion during the sex scenes. The movie is 45 minutes longer than it would be if it did not attempt to heighten the action scenes with slow motion. The Wachowski brothers got it right with the first Matrix movie; when used sparingly and at the right times, slow motion provides the viewer with an exciting and fresh way to visualize an action sequence.

Fans of the graphic novel might still want to check this film out for its brilliant comic to big screen translation. However, I highly recommend skipping this and checking out Sin City, which has the graphic novel art style, a good story to boot, terrific acting, and NO abuse of the slow motion.

I have to give 300 two stars for the hard work that was put into the visuals. After all, movies are a visual experience. However, the visual experience that 300 offers is a relaxed attempt to provide visceral thrills and is ruined by the overuse of slow motion.

For a lot of people, 300 will forever be remembered for "this is Sparta...NO...THIS IS MADNESS!!!" Or, the laughably quotable, "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!" 300 does not need to be parodied because it is a parody of itself.

Unless you get dragged into this film skip it. And if it's just you and the guys watching this film, watch it like real men: greased up and half naked.


May 4, 2008

 Geek Boy Fantasies
Motion pictures seldom present history with significant accuracy, so it would be unfair to condemn this one because it follows suit. What makes 300 so dire isn't that it is wildly, wildly inaccurate; it is the downright silliness of the whole presentation. I found it impossible to believe that a bunch of Chippendale strippers with red capes, black bikini underwear, and a total lack of acting expertise would be a barrier to Paris Hilton, much less the hordes of the Persian empire.

The film goes so far astray from the facts of the celebrated Battle of Thermopylae that we need hardly mention that event at all; suffice to say that the movie arises from the "graphic novel" (i.e. a comic book for the over-21 set) by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley, who did a fanciful riff on the idea of three hundred soliders fighting to their deaths. By the time it reached the screen, that riff had been mythologized, computerized, colorized, and glamorized to a point at which it feels very much like a low-quality 1960s Japanese cartoon on a hung-over Saturday morning.

The story, such as it is, concerns King Leonidas of Sparta (played by the significantly untalented Gerard Butler), who gets ticked off at a Persian messenger, kills him, and thereby more or less precipitates the Greco-Persian War. After receiving a little T&A from The Oracle (Kelly Craig) and playing slap-and-tickle with wife Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey), he leads 299 of his best off to the glory of still more CGI and certain death. Along the way there is a little racism, a little homophobia, and enough of an S&M-ish edge to make you wonder if Freud might have been onto to something after all.

It is all nonsense and ultimately less plausible than CLASH OF THE TITANS, but the real killer is the fact that the whole thing is as slow as molasses in winter. The pace is deadly dull, and for all the CGI skill on display 300 isn't even clever in terms of cinematography or art design. There is nothing, absolutely nothing in the least surprising, pulse-pounding, or emotionally or intellectually engaging, or even technically innovative about any of it.

This is the sort of film that appeals almost exclusively to the "Man, that is WAY cool!" crowd, who will no doubt yak endlessly about pixels while scratching their pimpled cheeks and generally waiting for Quentin Tarantino to make another movie as good as GRINDHOUSE. But unless you happen to fall into that category, take my advice and don't be suckered. There's more to telling an interesting story than blue screen effects and using CGI to touch up the abdominal muscles of the cast in an effort to make them look extra-butch.

GFT, Amazon Reviewer May 4, 2008

 A monument to fascism worthy of Hitler and Mussolini
This is a stark, powerful, and profoundly disturbing film. The action scenes are shot with great skill and the computer generation is up to date. The message is most important. You will learn that society should be based on fear of others, on glorification of violence, on hatred, rage, and on killing. You will learn that "freedom" means personal honor rather than responsibility toward others. You will learn that arrogance is maturity. You will learn that a great person is one who kills without warning or reason and a great nation is a nation that destroys and dominates other nations. You will learn that everything should be sacrificed to the military and to war; that war is the highest purpose of a nation and a people. You will see the total perversion of the ideals that motivated Jefferson, Washington, Adams, and the other founders, who most feared empire, and who tried hard to design a society that could not be corrupted by war as this one has. You will see propaganda worthy of Hitler and Mussolini, who also commissioned art like this. I can only hope that it is you who watch this movie, rather than your 14-18 year old children. May 2, 2008

 300 combo-worth every penny
This is a must have for HD DVD movie buff. You will never regret getting this movie even if it seems pricey. I plan to watch it at least 300 times. Get the Blue Ray version if you don't have HD DVD. Movie like this only happens once in a blue moon. If you like Gladiator, you like this movie. For those with kids at home, check the rating first. If you are over 18 and if you like action movie, this is it. April 26, 2008

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