Jackass Number Two (2006)

I SHOULD BE ASHAMED, BUT I LOVED IT!

I am 58 years old and would never have watched this movie even if it promised to make me look like Halle Berry. But my 25 year-old son was in the living room, cackling like a hen when I passed through on my way to the kitchen. Holding his side, he begged me to come and what this one scene. Reluctantly and with great trepidation I did. More than an hour later, I was still in front of the television, laughing my butt off.

I can't even say why this movie is funny because it is sooooo ridiculous. And there are parts where I'm glad that I was eating even birthday cake at the time (wait a minute - I WAS eating a piece of my own birthday cake and had to put it down to keep from blowing chunks). Even the "actors" in this flick blew a few more times than a woman with morning sickness. It is that nasty in places. Even the cameramen, often in helmets, were repulsed at times.

However, at the end of the movie, I was hoarse and my body sore from laughing. The next morning, I had muscles hurting that I didn't even know I had. Some of the scenes just defied imagination. I came of age during a time of LSD and none of these things came to mind among that generation. WHAT WERE THESE GUYS ON?!

If you are just looking for a rip-snorting, mindless good time, check out this movie. With all that is going on in the world right now, you can do this for 93 minutes. In the meantime, I will be watching the first installment. August 3, 2008

Consider yourself warned

Even if you're a fan of Jackass the series, as I am, you still won't be prepared for this. It goes beyond gross out shock tactics, way beyond, and into some kind of sado-masochistic performance art. Parts of it are hilarious, other parts are disgusting, and some are downright difficult and painful to watch.

Rather than being bored with Knoxville and company's antics, however, I found it to be so over the top that I couldn't help but be entertained, and in the end, when it's finally over, relieved, and kind of exhilarated. Which is not by accident, since they don't make it look easy, and you wonder how they all made it out in one piece without serious damage or injury. It's almost as if they're trying to say, look at us, and what we're doing for your entertainment...not only is it not easy, it's dangerous and painful.

Bees, snakes, sharks, charging bulls, leeches...just about any member of the animal kingdom that can do damage to people is brought in to do so, and if it doesn't, it's provoked until it does. And the damage done is real and visible. At one point, Johnny Knoxville's arm is clearly bandaged up, while another time, it's covered in blood from multiple snake bites. No idea if the two were related.

And there's no lack of vomit or feces, either. Or, for that matter, things going in to or out of rectums. Or genitals being abused. In fact, pretty much any childish, Freudian impulse you can imagine is indulged, freely, and without restraint or hesitation. But there's a lot more going on here than just that, so I won't sell it short. July 31, 2008

Want to know why teenagers are so gosh-darn screwed-up these days? Just look at Knoxville & his anti-social crew for starters!!!

Contrary to moral relativists and Jackass apologists who downplay Jackass 2 as comedy or the immaturity common among teenagers, Jackass 2's popularity--and the following of the Jackass franchise--is an implication of where American and western society's heading: into the gutter of depraved indecency!!!! An incrimination of the low-mindedness lowlifes celebrate in this Jackass 2 movie was seen when it defied all odds of sanity or justice by debuting at number one when it came out!!!! In analyzing Jackass 2's noticeable success, where even the makers of the movie had to be self-deprecating about their chances of repeating the success from the first movie, one has to resist the temptation to write off the moviegoers as merely asinine and misled teens. Ghoulishly, many immature and dissolute adults entertain their lowbrow, inner desires by buying this DVD.

Jackass 2 cannot qualify as a movie since movies have a plot, maybe a theme, some conflict, and character development. Flagrantly, Jackass 2 is more of the same mischief: Knoxville, Steve-O, Pontius et al connive to get together for more anti-social stunts which are just perilous and self-destructive. Many teenagers, clearly neglected by their parents and free to pursue copying Jackass' stunts due to feeling a void in their useless lives, have imitated Jackass' toxic stunts, so these films and series are definitely affecting society in a polluting way.

An impartial count by the "Screen-It" Movie Review website found 135 f-words, 39 MoFos, 19 d#@k/c---su#*er, and 22 a#@holes. This is only the beginning of the lewd profanity unconvincingly described as "comedy" that's scattered throughout Jackass 2. It has no redeemable qualities because the "humor" isn't funny; it's simply slapping together unconventionally perverse situations which get the audience to utter nervous laughter due to the shocking perversity of the stunts. For instance, semen is lustfully collected from the erect p*nis of a horse, and a man has a phallus (for all the mentally immature adults viewing Jackass 2, they'll need to check a dictionary for the definition of phallus) blasted up his derriere!!!! Nothing is even remotely "funny" about this; if one finds this "funny" there are only three choices. Either they're being intellectually dishonest, have the maturity level of an anti-social teen, or are so obscenely deteriorated.

The overall ratings for Jackass 2 should be one star at the most if we lived in a morally upstanding society, but we don't, regrettably. Egregious nudity to get the moral-reprobate audience off is rampant with men and women totally nude; again, there's nothing "funny" or remotely defensible about this nudity since it's softcore p*rn. Worse than this is the miscreant means for which human nudity is misused: for instance, a man's p*nis is actually put through the hole of a snake cage. The reviewers mendaciously defending this sm*t-film are villains. From this content of the movie, you'd seriously have to be debauched, mentally underdeveloped, or just asinine to enjoy this. "Movies" such as this used to be relegated to red-light districts, and most of Jackass 2 is more extreme and shocking than any snuff or p*rn film.

The only abominations remotely capable of being passed off as lowlife humor are scenes of drinking horse semen (Fear Factor never stooped this low), eating horse manure, the stimulating sight of freshly passed human excrement, and stoners and drunks vomiting in graphic glorification!!!! With all these increasingly damning descriptions of the content of Jackass 2, it's clear that the only people enjoying this depravity are mentally ill, as it's incrementally clear that no sane or good human being could derive entertainment value from this degeneration.

Besides these contraventions of human dignity, Jackass 2 endorses abysmally unethical misconduct and/or harmful misconduct. Alcohol is used in almost every other scene; Knoxville is in a scene corrupting a child, as this child drinks alcohol from a brown paper bag; Bam has his b*tt branded several times, resulting in three brandings of a p*nis and a scrotum outline; and one probably liberal and therefore hopelessly lost man has his scrotum frozen to small ice sculptures and when it does, Knoxville pushes him off so hard that pubic hair and excrement remain on the sculptures!!!!

All the other reviewers except for me were unscrupulously downplaying the noxiousness of Jackass 2 by disguising it as mere immaturity or humor--that's why they deceitfully omitted presenting the content of the DVD. In grim reality, even immature teens or p*rverts couldn't really get a rise out of Jackass if they tried; one must be mentally ill or a complete rogue to tolerate this end-of-the-world sacrilege passed off as a movie. I watched the DVD just to be able to unmask all the sm*t in
it. After reading my review of Jackass' content, how can any sane or moral person buy this foulness?!

April 16, 2008

funny as hell, reccommended

This is great, besster than the first in some ways, I can hardly wait for 2.5 March 19, 2008

johnny knoxville almost killed himself!

There are only a handful of performers who could pull these insane stunts together without jacking up their own lives completely. Johnny's charisma as well as the rest of the gang's fun-loving attitudes kept this movie from never growing dull, even after i thought they wouldn't be able to keep the momentum up after the first movie. i just can't believe that they are so willing to become Darwin Award recipiants. The scene where Johnny was launched by rocket into the lake, and part of the internal rockets damn near killed him; that scene had me awestruck saying to myself "WTF". it didn't stop there with the WTF's, but that was a major one. If you don't know if Jackass is for you then pay extra close attention to the title and think about what number 2 could mean. that's pretty much what you should be expecting here. March 10, 2008

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