Don't Go in the Woods...Alone! (1982)

Four backpackers decide to take a hike in the mountains of Utah. But within the woods lurks a killer. But who...or what...is it? The lazy local sheriff blames bears. But the escalating body count seems to point to a human killer. Ignoring the warning signs our campers remain lost in the woods...alone...awaiting their fate. System Requirements:Run Time: 82 minutesFormat: DVD MOVIE Genre: HORROR Rating: R UPC: 631595060195 Manufacturer No: CRDVD0601 Product Description

"Sometimes, it makes you kinda wonder." -The Sheriff

Well, I had heard a great deal about the notorious slasher, "Don't Go In the Woods...Alone", and not all of it was good. Still, I love slashers in the woods as that is one of my favorite settings for a slasher movie. Ostensibly, "Don't Go In The Woods...Alone" seemed like just what the doctor ordered. Of course, having seen "The Forest", perhaps, I should have known better.

Basically, "Don't Go In the Woods...Alone" starts about like any other slasher that takes place in the woods or forest. A small group of campers decide to go camping in some thick woods, and people start dying at the hands of some kind of killer, slasher style.

At first, I was thinking that maybe this movie would not be so bad as it starts out with a pretty good score/soundtrack, and the movie starts out with a rather bloody and somewhat gorey kill even if it was not that convincing. Alas, things would begin to go south early on as soon as someone opened their mouth. Indeed, make no mistake about it as the acting was atrocious even for this type of flick. Second, while the blood and gore was gratuitous, it was not realistically done, and it did look quite fake. Moreover, the movie itself had for a lack of a better word, a rather hokie feel to it with uneven scenes that seemed to attempt to mix horror with comedy. The result was pretty much a complete mess by movie's end.

The uneven scene transition made for a rather awkward movie overall, and there was no denying the "cheese" associated with this movie. Perhaps, the most glaring problem with "Dont Go In the Woods...Alone" is the absolutely ridiculous looking villain in this movie. Just based on the looks of the villain alone, this movie comes off as a complete joke. The villain is absolutely pathetic-looking and laughable in every conceivable way. Sadly, I have seen much worse. Just watch "The Forest" and see what I mean.

I really wanted to like "Don't Go in the Woods...Alone", and for a few minutes, I thought I would when the killer was mysteriously kept under wraps for the first few death scenes, and the score was pretty good, but, alas, it just is not a serious horror movie at all. In all fairness, "Don't Go In the Woods...Alone" was meant to be and is a complete and total utter joke, and that's just not my cup of tea. One STAR for the forest setting, the surprisingly decent score (I've heard a lot of people didn't like it), early mystery of the killer that was eventually ruined and made into a joke, and the death scenes (as unconvincing and fake as they were), but that's about it, folks, and that is no where near enough to make a good horror movie. However, if you are the kind of person that likes horror-comedies, you may want to check this out or if you are the kind of person that likes the "so bad of a movie that it's good", this might be for you too. However, I do not like either one of those styled movies. If you are like me, watch "Just Before Dawn" instead for an eerie and altogether different slasher in the woods experience.

January 7, 2008

I'll Put In a Good Word For Ya

By far the worst commentary ever recorded:
1. The incessant dog barking seemed playful at first, skull-crushingly-painful toward the end.
2. Let the cast/director answer a question - you'd think that the Super-Fans have watched this over 300 times. Do we really need an explaination of the "one sock up - one sock down theory"?!?!
3. Sounds like a lot of booze was being passed around (and it shows in some of Ingie's comments).
4. Note to Deron 'Paynz' Miller: have the slightest initiative and record the intro in a more respectable place than your bedroom. Are you really that bored?
5. Who the hell is Dave Mosca?
6. For the love of god, stop laughing at everything!
December 6, 2007

Pure Trash!

Don't Go In The Woods has Got To Be The Dumbest Horror Movie Of The 80's Era Or Perhaps Of All Time!Its A Total Disgrace To 80's Slashers Any One Who Likes This Slasher Has Got Real Bad Taste In Horror Movie's! September 11, 2007

A crime against celluloid

Made in a time when everyone and their brother could make cheaply produced horror films, Don't Go Into the Woods...Alone! was recommended to me by a friend because he had heard that this was the absolute worst horror film ever made. Well, he may be right. Don't Go Into the Woods...Alone! is a prime example of just why some films should never see the light of day. Between the ungodly filming, acting, and the lamest blood and gore effects you may ever see, Don't Go Into the Woods...Alone ! isn't just bad, it's a crime against celluloid. Not to mention that this also features possibly the worst soundtrack "score" (and I use that term lightly) in film history. Now I know that films like these aren't made to win any awards, and I like horror films that are so bad they're hysterical as much as the next guy, but laying down any amount of cash to see this movie is as bad as a rip-off can get. Don't even see this for laughs; avoid at all costs. May 10, 2007

Why it's Not a Good Idea to ride a wheelchair in the Woods!

I remember seeing this movie years ago, and for a long time I seemed to remember it being pretty scary. After recently watching "Don't go in the Woods...Alone!" again, I realized I was confusing this movie with another under-the-radar 80's slasher called "Just Before Dawn". Where "Dawn" actually tries to frighten the viewer, "Woods" sets out to.....well I'm not really sure? While it is a slasher flick, and it does feature buckets of blood, I don't think they were really setting out scare people. You will be chuckling throughout the movie, you can't help it. The basic story of two couples on a weekend camping trip serves as just a backdrop while a furry mountain man seems to slash his way around a mountain full of girls on rollerskates, newlyweds, birdwatchers, and even a guy in a wheelchair??!! Seriously, at about every 5 minutes for the duration of the film we are introduced to some new character, only to watch them get sliced and diced. This movie has to have one of the biggest body counts of any 80's slasher film made. So if you are just into having a goofy good time, laughing at the maniacal hillbilly whose shriek/laugh sounds like a villain from Scooby-Doo, machete his way through the countryside, offing about a dozen or so victims, then I can't recommend this movie highly enough. February 20, 2007

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