Today You Die (2005)

A Good Day Nonetheless

Ironic: About twelve minutes into the film, Steven Seagal asks one of the film's villains "Do I look sleepy?" Not a minute later, his girlfriend asks him "Why are you whispering?"
Feel free to chuckle.

Seagal's 22nd action feature stars him as a virtuous thief who steals from the rich to give to the poor. Upon the urging of his pseudo-psychic girlfriend (Mari Morrow, "Nikita Blues"), he tries to go clean and takes a truck-driving job from a shady fellow (Kevin Tighe, "Escape To Witch Mountain"), but is double-crossed when it turns out that the job is a heist. Sent to prison, he quickly buddies up with an inmate called Ice Kool (Anthony "Treach" Criss, "Face"), breaks out, and pursues his turncoat-of-a-boss.

As bad as Steven Seagal's DTV outings have been, "Today You Die" is a surprisingly decent bit of action that, at times, reminded me of the fun-yet-brainless 80s-90s action flicks of yesterday.
Of course, there is no way to turn back the hands of time, and yes: Seagal still looks overweight, there is some dubbing of his voice, and the extended storyline (with its useless tangents and plotholes) and dialogue are silly enough to kill off a few brain cells. But while "Today" doesn't match "Urban Justice", it's better than the likes of "The Foreigner" or "Attack Force" by leaps and bounds for the fact that it chooses to focus on fun rather than pretending to be intelligent.

The best example of this is probably the car chase near the beginning of the film: it's fast-paced, exciting, shot well, and has a few one-liners thrown in for good measure. In addition, the handful of fight scenes and shootouts in the film are satisfactory as well; Seagal vs. bodyguards near the beginning and the gang confrontation close to the end are particularly attention-worthy.
The supporting cast also works well for once: the afore-mentioned names are alert and add to the plot, as do Sarah Buxton ("Devil's Highway") as Agent Knowles and Nick Mancuso ("Ticket To Heaven") as the hiss-able Agent Saunders.

If able to ignore the use of stock footage from the prison break scene (from Wesley Snipes' "Undisputed"), Seagal fans should find "Today You Die" a thoroughly enjoyable bit of violent fluff. Essentially, if you tolerated films like "Into The Sun" and "Mercenary For Justice", liking this movie won't be too difficult. May 18, 2008

One of Seagal's Best DTV Movies

This is one of Seagal's better DTV titles. It features some cool action sequences and tons of classic Steven Seagal charm. He and Treach make for a particularly fun pairing and play off each other nicely. Unlike many of Seagal's earlier DTV movies, this one gives him plenty of nice character moments. The tone of the movie is much more fun and in keeping with some of his best movies like Hard to Kill and Out for Justice. If you are a fan of Steven Seagal as a personality, then you will really enjoy this movie. I give a lot of credit to the director Don E. Fauntleroy. He also directed Seagal's very best DTV movie, Urban Justice. He knows how to stage a nice action sequence and use Seagal correctly. I hope they make more movies together in the future! April 28, 2008

Overweight, over the hill, horrid acting, and a really bad hair transplant.....

This is my first direct-to-dvd Steven Seagal film, and it is also my last direct-to-dvd Steven Seagal film. The film is idiotic in nature, with possibly the most horrid acting since Pee Wee's Big Adventure. The plot is mind numbingly unrealistic (not even worth mentioning), in addition to the fact Seagal looks like 30 feet of bad road kill. He's overweight (is it any wonder he wears a bulky coat throughout the movie-hide that gut, Seagal-hide that gut) and over the hill, his hair transplant looks like it was grafted from a mangy dog, and his acting is the pits. Yet, in true Steven Seagal center-of-attention wannabe form, he gets the beautiful girl (who has to be 25 years his junior). Yeah, right.

It's obvious to just about everyone who is paying attention, excluding Seagal, that his days as a top box office draw are long gone. I'd personally like to see him in a Grumpy Old Men type of film, perhaps with Chuck Norris and/or David Carradine. No more of these improbable only 10 years away from senior citizen discounts though I'm still able to conquer the world through brute force type of flicks. Yawn.

Someone needs to tell this clown that he's fat, a disgustingly deficient actor sporting a grotesquely unnecessary mangy mop of a hair transplant, with a fatally career killing severe case of an unwarranted superiority complex. For me, his excessive narcissism comes forth in his performance, or lack thereof. Honestly, I feel sorry for the guy. He definitely needs to grow up. Do yourself a huge favor and skip this one and stick exclusively to the classic Seagal films of the late '80s and early '90s..... October 11, 2007

Oh man, it gets worse...

If you've read any of the other reviews for other noted 'Seagalists' on Amazon you will pretty much have my feelings on this film. This has got to be the worst Seagal film I've seen. I thought Out for a Kill and Ticker were his lowest points but this has got to be the king of the dung hill. I'm working my way (slowly, carefully) up to Attack Force and Flight of Fury so those might just take the title from this one, but this is not for anyone who has some sensiblity of what a good movie is.

There are quite a few amusing (and bemusing) things to look out for:

-From the opening credits, you know this one is going to be a stinker. Just listen to the crazy early 90's action guitar riffs and you'll understand. I seriously would not doubt if they recycled the soundtrack from Hard to Kill for this!

-Seagal still in the shadows like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now for about 80% of the film. Seems to be one of his trademarks now. At least there is none if any dubbing of Seagal's voice in this one. I don't think he takes the trademark arms crossed over belly posture much in this one either which is unusual (see Mercenary for Justice cover).

-The whole plot point that doesn't really surface about Seagal's wife's visions. And about his employer, Max who was 'born with the devil inside me' (I kid you not, he actually uses that line! Seagal's retort is even funnier), having some connection to a little girl in a hospital. Apparently Tibetan mandalas that have no bearing on the scene can appear out of nowhere also for Seagal to interprete. The ending like all Seagal movies nowadays is only slightly above nonsensical. All this leaves you scratching your head.

-The ability for our characters to walk away scot free. Apparently, Seagal can get away with breaking and entering (he is billed on the cover of the movie as a master thief after all), killing a number of police officers (on purpose)and a DEA agent, smashing civilian vehicles and by the end of the movie, walk free without any penalty. His buddy Ice, who for one was in penitentiary for some obvious felonious crime, is able to kill another inmate, start a prision riot, and escape from jail and by the end of the movie, fly to Switzerland, deposit stolen money, and jive walk his way out of the bank!

-The state penetentiary where all inmates are guarded (or rather not guarded) by incompetent and lazy guards. I suppose we are to believe that as an inmate, you are free to wander the corridors of this maximum security facility without any supervision. Its quite laughable.

-Seagal's confrontation scene with Bruno in the jail. Literally mops the room up with his face!

-Seagal's extensive array of jackets and coats. The long brown Matrix inspired pleather coat is particularly handsome on him, hiding most of his belly protrusion. Also, note the hip Roca-wear jeans jacket he sports when he is admitted to prison. Borrowed from Treach most likely.

-Seagal and Treach exchanging dialogue. This has to be the funniest thing the movie. Its so stilted its damn fun to watch. You aren't a Seagal fan until you have heard him attempt to speak jive. Seagal also uses more instances of the F-bomb in this movie that any other I've seen.

-Classic Seagal disarms. Shotguns, handguns, its no problem since all bad guys get close to Seagal even though they can easily shoot him from across the room.

-The stereotypical Tong gang (replete with high pitched Chinese flute music) with a small dis-homage to The Fast and the Furious. There is also a amusing part where Seagal puts a guy's head into a vice.

-Seagal (or stunt double rather) swinging on a chandolier. You'll have to rewind to actually believe this one! Which brings me to the fact that there are more stunt doubles used in this movie that any other of his films in recent memory. Its pretty embarassing.

The whole movie is just hacked. It feels like someone tried to use mostly stock footage to make a Seagal film. The director and cinematographer, Don. 'Little Lord' Fauntelroy was able to make a half descent attempt later with Mercenary for Justice, but this one seems to be his trial run and he didn't care. There are so many basic things for good moviemaking that are ignored that there are too numerous to go into detail about them. If you dare watch this 'film', you'll see what I mean.
September 11, 2007

today you bored

While Today You Die is not a horrible maovie, it just isn't an exciting one either. While I praise Seagal for keeping the movies coming, I can't praise the excitement level of his newer films. The age and weight of Seagal I guess is catching up with him, and therefore his level of skill in the martial arts department is diminishing. While he still kicks butt and keeps the bone-breaking alive, there is no skill to it in this movie.







The story in Today You Die is nothing exciting either. The Seagal character is set up and set to prison. He escapes with the help of an inmate. The two become partners and get revenge for the guys who sent the Seagal character up. There is a twist with one of the chracters in the film, the only interesting part, but nothing that you may not have already seen coming. The lack of story requires more action than this movie provides. While scenes seem to cange often, attempting at keeping pacing strong, it still fails to heighten our most entertaining movie senses.







The bright spot of the movie is Vegas. If you love Vegas there are plenty of clips of the city, during the day and during the night. Perhaps the only good spot of the movie is after the first 15 minutes of thie film, there is a decent car chase scene through downtown at night. You don't get many movies for a chase through Vegas, and this is pretty much the only reason for buying this dvd.







This movie turns out to be only good for watching the first time, just to see what happens. Unlike most action movies that I can watch over and over for the action, I can't say that this is even worth it. Check out the chase scene in Vegas and that's all that is worthy. June 15, 2007

More reviews at Amazon.com ...