Larva (2005)

"This ain't no time for belly-achin' now"

The town of Host really lives up to its name, with first its cattle and then its very own citizens serving as the warm hosts necessary for a bunch of mutated larvae to grow into the crawling, leaping, blood-sucking, body cavity-decimating mother of all parasites. It sounds like a 21st-century version of a classic B-movie, and in many ways I guess it is - but it's definitely more impressive than I expected it to be. This thing even succeeded at maintaining the seriousness of the whole larva plague mess all the way to the end. It helps, of course, to have a pretty decent cast and some bold and impressive special effects, and Larva is blessed with both. I'm not saying the giant parasites look all that impressive once they're all grown up, but they really put on a show each time they exit a host human body. I would highly advise you not to sit down to this film with a hamburger or any other meat-related product - not unless you're man enough to handle the sight of nasty little larvae crawling in and out among stacks of uncooked beef destined for mass consumption by a whole town full of picnickers.

Fletcher Odermatt (David Selby) pretty much controls the town of Host, as almost everyone there is dependent upon him and his company, Host Tender Meats, for their livelihood. Sure, the cattle farmers have to sell him their meat to Fletcher at a discounted price, but the man is generous enough to give them free feed, and no one thinks about complaining when he starts talking about the profits sure to come from the heartier, healthier cows his new feed will produce. And if anyone should think about complaining, he'll just sic his lawyer (Rachel Hunter) on them. Fletcher's influence doesn't extend to an outsider like Dr. Eli Rudkus (Vincent Ventresca), who just so happens to be the area's brand new veterinarian. He can't just dismiss the fact that cows are dying in horrible ways (with their abdomens exploding from the inside out) or that the stream water is teeming with unknown parasites. Unfortunately, the good doctor's efforts to address the situation are all thwarted by Fletcher and his lawyer. You would think the first eyewitness account of a giant parasite eating its way out of someone's stomach before heading off in search of more blood might change things a little bit, but it doesn't - not until the proverbial cow patty truly hits the fan all over town.

I really have to applaud the makers of this film for all of the gory goodness they deliver. Whether bovine or human, the victims of these blood-sucking parasites are not a pretty sight to behold. Having a giant parasite eat its way out of your abdomen is a pretty nasty experience, and the effects guys weren't afraid to throw plenty of blood and guts around every time it happened. It's just too bad they wimped out a little bit on the giant parasite attacks, though - these can be borderline comical.

Obviously, the story isn't wholly original, nor is the outcome every really in doubt, but Larva has one thing going for it that similar films do not: William Forsythe. The surly character of Jacob Long pretty much makes the whole movie for me. He's the only man in town brave enough to dare stick it to the man, and he's not about to let a bunch of mutant freak parasites get away with killing some of his cattle - not as long as his guns and ammo hold out, anyway. Heck, though, I'll bet he would tear `em apart with his bare hands if he had to. He also cared about his cows, whereas all the other farmers only cared about the money their herds would bring in. Gun-Crazy Farmer Dude, as he has been dubbed by at least one other reviewer, is the real deal, and he made sure that I enjoyed the heck out of Larva.
April 7, 2008

Dumb yet oddly appealing

This 2005 creature feature aired on the Sci Fi Channel. Yeah. I could stop reviewing right there because that's all you really need to know about this formulaic monster flick. Why go on? Nature run amok movie...Sci Fi Channel...clichéd. Nearly every film that ever aired on the Sci Fi Channel stinks in some significant way. Bad acting from second and third tier actors and actresses, lazy direction, cheap set pieces, bad CGI special effects, lame plots--it's always the same story with these guys. I'm not sure whom they've got in their stable of writers over there, but they need new blood fast. I suspect the same script just floats around in perpetuity with only the names of the characters and the type of beast changing on a regular basis. The plot always goes something like this: outsider or scientist type moves into small community, discovers a sinister corporate/military/evil white guy conspiracy that sacrifices nature in the quest for profits, and joins a small group of those in the know in order to destroy the threatening monstrosities in question. The end. Add a few twists to the plot, sprinkle in a ton of clichés, and you've got yourself the latest Sci Fi Channel movie of the week.

"Larva" meets all of the above requirements, and then some. The story's hero is Dr. Eli Rudkus (Vincent Ventresca), a new veterinarian moving to the little town of Host, Missouri in order to fill the vacancy left by his predecessor. The town desperately needs Emil's services since the main means of income in the little berg revolves around the cattle industry. In fact, a corporate concern (here we go) called Host Tender Meats pretty much controls the village. They buy up all the product in town and call the shots about what the cattle eat. That's why the company is especially stoked about a new feed they've developed. According to the company's PR flacks, the new food will guarantee adding serious weight to the cattle in town. More weight equals...wait for it...more beef and more profits. Everyone wins. WRONG! Host Tender Meats has a serious problem with their new product, a problem we witness in the opening scenes of the film when a weird creature bursts out of a dead cow in full view of several teenage witnesses. No one knows at the time what just happened, but they will soon. Host, Missouri is about to become a disaster area.

Rudkus learns about this strange phenomenon when a local rancher by the name of Jacob Lang (William Forsythe) calls him in to perform tests on this odd creature. The veterinarian discovers a couple of disturbing things. He learns that the larva likes human blood and grows larger after a feeding, and he suspects the new feed from Host Tender Meats is causing this aberration of nature. When he tries to tell the townspeople, they greet his claims with jeers. So do the higher ups at Host Tender Meats. The evil owner of the firm, Fletcher Odermatt (David Selby), and his attack dog lawyer Hayley Anderson (Rachel Hunter) laugh loudly and publicly at Rudkus's concerns. Eli's charges soon bear fruit when the larvae begin attacking human targets. Fortunately for the film, this involves an "Alien" like embryonic period followed by a cheesy CGI beastie bursting out of the victim's chest. Eli, Jacob Lang, and the newly educated Hayley Anderson join forces to save the town. Their mission is not easy. You see, the larvae soon develop the ability to fly through the air. Yes sir, flying larvae. No one is safe, and the very fate of the world rests in the hands of these unlikely heroes. Roll credits.

I detected several subtleties in the script that surprised me considering the low budget, clichéd mess that is "Larva". Check out Eli's last name. Rudkus is the surname of the main character in Upton Sinclair's seminal socialist, anti-meatpacking industry screed "The Jungle". In fact, a lot of the plot mirrors stuff that took place in Sinclair's novel. The monopoly Host Tender Meats uses to control the ranchers, for example, as well as having the town sheriff on the company payroll is lifted right out of the book. Pretty obvious where the screenwriters' sympathies lie, eh? The literary underpinnings of the movie fail to help in other areas, however. The cheap 'n cheesy CGI effects are laughable, as is the idea of Rachel Hunter playing a corporate lawyer. Also working against the film (or for it depending on your demeanor) is a number of unintentionally hilarious scenes. I couldn't stop laughing over the sequence involving two youngsters messing around with each other only to have their little skin party interrupted by the messy arrival of a larva bustin' out of the boyfriend's body. The following chase scene involving the girlfriend and the beastie keeps the guffaws coming. Heck, even the goofy picture on the DVD cover made me giggle.

First Look Pictures (a warning sign about the quality of the picture right there) brings "Larva" to DVD with no extras. Oh well. The film is still more than watchable. Sure, it's stupid on a metaphysical level with truly humongous plot holes, but the humorous aspects in a number of scenes coupled with decent acting (thank the lord for small favors) and several extremely gory kills make this movie a must see for creature feature fans. As I indicated above, it's not original in any way, shape, or form. Clichés abound. But every once in awhile we need to sit down with a movie, throttle our brains down into neutral, and just veg out in front of something truly mindless. "Larva" fits that bill quite nicely. I think I'll give the film three stars. That's probably one more than it deserves, but I'm feeling generous tonight. Have fun and don't consume any meat lest you become the next victim of LARVA! Bwaahahahahahaha! May 15, 2007

Enjoy That Steak While You Still Can

If any film can convince you to become a vegetarian, "Larva" is the flick. I actually saw this little spooker about a year ago, but it wasn't until I caught up with it on SciFi recently that I decided to review it. Starring the well-on-his-way to B-movie greatness Vincent Ventresca, goddess Rachel Hunter and William Forsythe, "Larva" is the cuddly tale of the small town of Host, where the local meat plant is testing new hormones in the feed for the local cattle. Little do the townspeople know, but there's a parasite in the feed, and once inside the cattle they grow, eventually bursting out of their host and into the world. They look for any source of blood, and get bigger with each meal. It's sort of like the critters in the first "Critters" flick. Unlike the "Critters," they look like a cross between a bat and a slug, making for a wickedly funny-looking monster.

Ventresca, along with a few buddies, does his best to stop the parasites from escaping into the food chain. How does he do it? Does he succeed? Check this flick out to see if he's successful.

It's a top-notch B-flick, intentionally trying to be serious and fun at the same time. The effects are somewhat silly, but the actors try very hard to make them believable. The story moves at a nice trot, and it never really gets boring or sluggish.

If you want to see an above average B-spooker, pick up "Larva." Fans of the genre will get most of the nods to other films, but you don't have to have a deep knowledge of bad flicks to grasp the humor and the horror of "Larva." May 21, 2006

Awesome Movie

I think this movie was really good! Somewhat unrealistic, I mean larva growing bones and turning into bat looking creatures is funny and not real. The thing that puzzles me is why are there hundreds of larva crawling into a person and only one of them evolves and comes out of the person??? The real highlight was watching my ex have his brains splattered on the window in a SUV - PRICELESS! Yeah for Milo's brains (or lack of them) being lost on the window!!! If you don't know anyone in this movie, I wouldn't bother with it...I just give it a 4 star because when you get left for a 15 year old and get treated like dirt, it's always great to see the person killed (even if only in a movie) a month or so later! December 27, 2005

Host Tender Meats - YUK

The name of the company (Host Tender Meats) is gross enough considering this is a horror film. Believe me, this movie is sure to satisfy any gore hound, just please give it 40 minutes, then the s**t hits the fan literally. Please do not eat anything that involves cow meat while watching, it will make you ill to your stomach. August 27, 2005

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