Anacondas - The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

Really good jungle adventure

The title of 2004's "Anacondas -- The Hunt for the Blood Orchid" pretty much tells you what type of film it is -- a nature-runs-amok flick in the manner of "Jaws" or "King Kong." It goes without saying, don't expect "Citizen Kane."

THE STORY: An American Company discovers evidence that the blood orchid can cure aging & death and sends out a team to Borneo to get samples, expecting to make zillions. Unfortunately it's the rain season and the team can only enlist a dubious captain with a shakey boat to take 'em up river, not to mention they run into myriad anacondas that are oversized due to the blood orchid.

The film runs 91 minutes before the credits role and for the first hour this is jungle adventure of the highest order.

What makes it "jungle adventure of the highest order"?

-- The vibe is serious rather than campy; although the story is not believable, the material is presented in a realistic manner.

-- There are quite a few truly thrilling scenes, like when the boat goes over a waterfall.

-- The story has the spirit of jungle films like Tarzan and King Kong (minus the goofy overkill of Peter Jackson's 2005 version).

-- The team is multi-ethnic with a good assortment of characters -- likable (the boat captain and the blond), unlikable (the Latino girl and the Brit), funny (the secondary black dude) and everything inbetween.

-- The boat captain, Bill Johnson played by Johnny Messner, is a really good heroic protagonist in the manner of, say, Tarzan (albeit not quite as superhero-ish).

-- The film was shot in Figi with exteriors in New Zealand (the waterfall) and therefore has an authentic jungle vibe -- fantastic locations, to say the least.

Unfortunately at the hour mark the film takes a downward turn and somewhat loses it's captivating appeal. The final 30 minutes take place in the rain at night and it's often hard to see what's going on; also some of the characters start doing things that come off contrived rather than believable.

Another negative is that neither of the women are very attractive. The Latino initially comes off as a witch with a capital 'B' but later redeems herself (slightly) and the blond, although certainly likable, comes off completely bland. And neither are truly babe-licious (which makes the story more believable, I guess).

BOTTOM LINE: If you're in the mood for jungle adventure in the spirit of Tarzan, King Kong, Rambo and Apocalypse Now you can't go wrong with "Anacondas -- The Hunt for the Blood Orchid." I enjoyed it way more than the first one (1997's "Anaconda"). Pay no attention to the overly critical negative reviews; this is a really good jungle adventure flick. How is it that "Anacondas" gets ridiculously panned while Peter Jackson's overrated version of King Kong is hailed as a 'masterpiece'? Please.

PERSONAL RATING: B+ October 5, 2008

Yeah, this is a dumb, mindless movie with super-bad acting

When you watch the opening scenes of these bogus scientists (Matthew Marsden is one of them) who have no idea of what they're talking about, you'll know that whoever put this together was on a limited budget and had to deal with actors who seemed like they were reading off a script. The "Guide" (Johnny Messner) was your stereotypical tough-talking macho jerk......anyway, the lines these people spout out are from so many bad "adventure/horror films" of the past. He even wrestles and alligator...or was it a crocodile?

You may not be able to get past the initial scenes of these "clowns" heading up or down river; especially when mister boat captain has his stupid little monkey on his shoulder.

To save you the misery of watching this bit of tripe, just imagine some low-quality actors hired to do their first and possibly last movie (with the exception of Messner - "Running Scared"). Then you'll understand why 213 these DVD's are selling for $0.01 - can't get rid of this movie fast enough.

"Anaconda" and "Snakes On A Plane" were more entertaining than this "mirror." I say mirror, because if you buy this DVD, that's all the use you'll be getting from it. Hope you make it through this movie. I lasted only 32 minutes before I went off and did something more constructive with my life. I finished watching it when I got the flu, and was totally nauseated - kind of went with the movie.

September 13, 2008

Very Good Sequel to the First

This 2000s sequel to the original film of the 1990s its very fun to watch, especially the first time. Although the film has many geagraphical inaccuracies like Borneo being home to giant Anacondas, tigers, and other things it delivers as what it is. There are more action sequences, and good CGI. Although most people do not know, two more sequels are in production for a 2008 release but many people will not like this: they will not be released in the theathers and I'm not going to bother mentioning where (Just remember Lake Placid 2). May 23, 2008

Anacondas

Great movie. I saw this movie at the cinema and was impressed with the beautiful jungle pictures. April 8, 2008

SNAKES SUPER SIZED

In 1997, Columbia released their first foray into the world of giant snakes with the film ANACONDA. It featured up and coming actress Jennifer Lopez, hot rap artist turned actor Ice Cube and thespian Jon Voight. The movie did fair business and led to a series of big snake films that have been released straight to video and on to the Sci Fi Channel. It was only a matter of time before a sequel was hatched.

The thing is, the movie is actually pretty good. Not in an Oscar category perhaps, but as one of the low budget horror fare that have been coming out since the days of the drive in, it does a great job at providing just what those going to see it expect. Good special effects, a decent story and a few thrills here and there.

The story begins in the unlikely setting of a board meeting. The company in question is about to go belly up and its main staff removed. But then they reveal the possibility of untold fortune in their newest discovery. Using the serum found in the blood orchid, they can regenerate tissue, making the drugs developed from this orchid a virtual fountain of youth. The only problem is that the blood orchid only grows in one South American location and only once every so many years and there is only a few weeks left of this bloom. Off go our intrepid gang to find the orchid!

Arriving to find it's the rainy season, they must first search to find a boat and captain willing to take them down the river to their destination. With a little money they do so, discovering a captain right out of stereotype city played by Johnny Messner.

When things look bad and the group may have to turn back, scientist Jack Byron (Matthew Marsden) offers Messner more money to continue on. Greed rules the day which unfortunately also leads them to high water and a very uninviting waterfall. With their boat crashed and no supplies, the group head out to find help in the form of another boat they make contact with.

But while they were watching the river, the group was being watched themselves by one mother of a huge anaconda. Perhaps more than 60 feet long and about 4 feet wide, the snake ends up eating one of the group as they trek cross country to find their ride.

The snake isn't their only adversary though. Dr. Byron has made the decision that they should continue on to the orchid, placing more value on the possible boatload of money they could all end up with as opposed to the chance of staying alive. And since he has the only gun in the group, he pretty much gets his way.

Skipping ahead, the orchids are found, but nestled near a pit filled with not one but many of the deadly, huge snakes. It's mating season and they are all in high spirits around the snake skinned hottie that they all want. Will the group survive or will they simply become trapped mice in a snake filled, rain forest aquarium? Watch and see in a movie that may not be tops, but offers fine performances, great direction and a familiar story that delivers what you should expect - entertainment.
March 13, 2008

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