Shelter Island (2003)

IT'S NOT THAT BAD!

OKAY IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE SEEN THIS BUT I DO REMEMBER THAT I LIKED IT. IT'S ABOUT A LESBIAN COUPLE WHO GO OFF TO AN ISLAND FOR A VACATION AND THE TROUBLE THEY ENCOUNTER WHILE THERE. THERE ARE MANY PLOT TWISTS AND TURNS AND THERE IS A SURPRISE TWIST AT THE END THAT WAS A VERY NICE TOUCH. IT KEPT ME GUESSING ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE MOVIE AS TO JUST WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON AND WHO WAS REALLY DECEIVING AND BACK-STABBING WHOM. IT REALLY IS WORTH A WATCH. IT'S NOT THAT BAD!!!! February 7, 2006

Miscast, miscued and misses by a mile

"Shelter Island," a 2003 offering starring Ally Sheedy, is worse than a complete waste of time; it is also an insult to the intelligence of almost everyone. The setup is common enough: a wealthy former golfer is apparently the target of some skullduggery. But the film cannot even accomplish its opening sequences without giving viewers a reason to head for the exits. Sheedy, when we meet her, is now some sort of motivational speaker. Unfortunately, instead of simply giving us this information as background, the film shows us Sheedy in her motivational mode. The problem is that, in a scene taken from the same page at Nicole Kidman's opening sequence in Stepford Wives, Sheedy is spouting nonsense that would not convince -no less motivate- a gerbil. OK...fast forward to Sheedy's opulent Manhattan apartment for an intimate dinner with a handful of beautiful people. It immediately becomes apparent that any male in this film is going to be an idiot, a sophomoric sexist or the bad guy. There are two men at the party and both offer ample justification for their immediate execution. Meanwhile, significant glances are traded among Sheedy and two attractive females, one of whom is apparently stuck in bitchy overdrive. When this confusing tango is over and the guests leave, we realize that Sheedy's character, apparently designed to evoke Nancy Lopez, is a lesbian who lives with one of the aforementioned attractive women. A brief but soft-core lesbian scene arcs into the next day when we are firmly told that Sheedy wears the pants in the family and that the other woman is, in fact, her Stepford Wife.

So far, we are about 30 minutes into the film and we have no idea where it is going or why we are watching it. To remedy this, the film has the ladies go out jogging, whereupon Sheedy becomes the victim of an unprovoked, inexplicable and far fetched beating in the middle of broad daylight in the middle of Manhattan. No answers are offered as the ladies use the attack as an excuse to get away to their vacation home on the Shelter Island of the title.

Arriving on the Island, the ladies come across the local sheriff, one of the idiot/sophomoric sexists we have already been warned to expect. Escaping his drooling presence, they make their way to their house, where we again encounter the bitch from the dinner party and wonder why Sheedy suffers her presence at all. Thereafter, we get to see a few more soft-core lesbian scenes and watch Sheedy, WAY past her prime, work out in the nude. From here the film goes downhill fast. From Central Casting comes the BIG STORM that knocks out the power and telephone, thereby isolating the ladies. A noise at the door deposits MYSTERIOUS STRANGER on their doorstep and, since he is a male, we KNOW he is the bad guy, in addition to being an idiot and a sophomoric sexist. The contrivances that keep this stranger in their home are bad enough, but Sheedy's interplay with him is inane. Alternating between going mano a mano with him and engaging in the sort of sexual double talk one hears in pick up bars, the Sheedy character quickly loses whatever shreds of audience sympathy it still enjoys. The whole mess wraps up fairly quickly after that, and the "surprise" ending, oddly and strikingly misogynistic, drives home the point that the female is indeed the deadlier of the species. Rumor had it that Sheedy wanted to present a strong lesbian movie; if so, she missed by a mile. Never mind that the lesbians portrayed were all straight out of a teenage boy's masturbatory fantasies, or that real life lesbian erotic sensibilities were nowhere to be seen. Ignore too the stereotyping of female athletes (after all, aren't they ALL gay?). As a suspense movie this thing was a flop, the only suspense coming from trying to guess precisely which stupid "victim's move" the ladies were next going to borrow from all those Freddie and Jason movies. This movie is a perfect argument for turning off the TV and finding a good book
August 12, 2005

Starring body doubles for Kensit and Sheedy

Whatever happened to Eighth Wonder singer Patsy Kensit after she appeared in the high voltage, high energy thriller `Lethal Weapon 2'? Well, she went on to appear in a number of okay pictures (the acclaimed `Twenty-One' and the sweet romantic comedy `Does This Mean We're Married') and some truly terrible TV-movie-type fodder such as `Kill Cruise.'
Unfortunately, this crass production falls into the latter camp and, despite some good talent and a serviceable script, the movie is betrayed and let down with an overabundance of (blatently obvious) body-double nudity (that would seem more in place in a soft porn production) and a (supposidly) "surprise twist' that is telegraphed early in the movie.
Kensit plays the lesbian girlfriend Alex, to Alley Sheedy's motivational speaker character, who persuades her girlfriend to escape the big city after she is brutally attacked. The two seek the solitude on an island and tension arises with the arrival of an injured man, a violent storm that knocks out the phone lines and ferry services to the mainland and the almost voyeuristic fascination with the girls displayed by the local sheriff.
Kensit was the reason why I picked up this movie, that and the promise of an okay suspense thriller, but her talent is once again squandered in a movie that fails to deliver any real tension. December 13, 2004

So-so story with some fairly erotic moments!

I would have enjoyed this film so much more if there was less Stephen Baldwin in it and more Ally Sheedy, Patsy Kensit, and Mimi Langeland. Not that I particularly hate Stephen Baldwin, but I really loved seeing the erotic chemistry between Sheedy and Kensit. Sadly, most of their hottest moments together apparently ended up on the cutting room floor. And that meant this one was less of an erotic thriller and more of a what-the-heck-is-going-on-thriller. August 3, 2004

Not What I Expected

I expected this movie to be something like the Dead Calm. It was not. See the Dead Calm. That's a must see, suspensful movie. This movie was not and also slow moving. I'm not saying not to watch it. It is interesting, and thank goodness it is a short movie.
July 23, 2004

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