Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)

uhh

The worst Depp movie I have ever seen. I have to admit, I fell asleep about midway through the film for about twenty minutes and didn't bother rewind it when I woke up. I'm just glad I bought this used and can return it. September 14, 2008

"This is so good, I have to kill the cook."

The Good Things
*Very good video and sound quality.
*Includes a great deal of special features, such as commentaries, a bunch of featurettes, and trailers.
*Loads of great action scenes. These are probably the best shoot-outs in the entire Mexico trilogy.
*Still well-filmed and well-edited.
*Great writing.
*Good acting; interesting characters.
*Good music.

The Bad Things
*Storyline is pretty convoluted, and can be hard to follow.
*There are so many characters in this movie that it can be hard to remember who's who and what they want and so on.

The Other Things
*The film is mostly in English, with subtitles for Spanish-speaking parts.

Although this doesn't quite outdo "Desperado" or even the original "El Mariachi," "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" is wildly entertaining. The action scenes are its greatest strength, for they are bigger (almost epic in scale) and great fun to watch. The characters are great, even if there are dozens of them. The only thing that really suffers is the story, which can be difficult to comprehend. Still, most action movie fans will like this. August 29, 2008

Guerilla Warfare With Hollywood Flair

Anyone interested in how bad a $30 million film can be? Keep reading.

"Once Upon A Time In Mexico" is a blow-em' up, shoot-em' up fiasco, replete with an ensemble cast that fails to impress. Antonio Banderas reprises his role as El Mariachi (emphasis on the "El") and this time nearly the entire state of Mexico has a bounty on his head. The film's continued saga from the prequels "El Mariachi" and 1995's more notable "Desperado" suffers from cliché grandé, El now avenging the brutal murder of his wife and daughter.

The rest of the plot is completely nonsensical and I won't bother to explain. I can't really remember what it was anyway, seeing as how it was so ridiculous and I decided instead to pay attention to the smoldering visages of Johnny Depp and Antonio Banderas. I'm sure that doesn't help out the straight men that are reading this. Well, tough.

But this might. Salma Hayek, who played the voluptuous (and I underlined that part) Carolina in "Desperado", also reprises her role but only in retrospect, her screen time made extremely brief due to the flashbacks she appears in. Perhaps she was too absorbed in the labor of love that became "Frida" (shoots for "Once Upon a Time" were deferred to accommodate her schedule with director Julie Taymor) and Rodriguez decided that what little he got out of her would be first dibs for the cutting-room floor. Despite this, Hayek still got top billing. I guess that million-dollar salary speaks for itself, eh?

Depp is an excellent character actor but his outing as Sands is beneath him. I only wish that HE had been the star of the show or at least had a much more substantial amount of time on camera. For a 40-year old man that doesn't look a day over 25 (and that's not an exaggeration on my part), he should've gotten a lot more face time, if you ask me. He soon made up for that with all of his "Pirates of the Carribean" films, not to mention winning a Golden Globe for 2007's "Sweeney Todd".

The addition of Latin crooner Enrique Iglesias (Lorenzo) to the cast is a little bit laughable but the sultry singer manages not to embarrass himself too much - he had more talent in his music videos, I'm sorry to say (except for "Hero" - GAG ME). Willem Dafoe looks impressive as the villainous Barillo but fails to convince as soon as he opens his mouth to speak English, much less Spanish. Ruben Blades is a disappointment as Jorge, a retired FBI agent who gets back into the game to bag a little retaliation of his own for a murdered partner. Who embarrasses the most is Mickey Rourke as Billy, one of Barillo's lackeys and certainly the most pathetic. The only thing I found redeeming about him was Moco, the adorable little Chihuahua he toted everywhere.

The many explosions and gunfire may provide action buffs satisfaction o' plenty, but the bang for a lady's buck comes from watching two gorgeous men (Depp, Banderas) prove that age ain't nothing but a number.
June 24, 2008

Judged on it's own merits...not that bad

It's hard not to see this as a let down following Desperado and given the additions of some big names, most notably Johnny Depp. However, judged as simply another high action low everything else movie, it isn't that bad. There's lots of explosions, shoot-em up scenes, and some over-the-top squeamishness, but there is enough left-over cool factor from the previous two to make it enjoyable enough. Depp steals the show and in hindsight, I wonder if this was a vehicle made more for him than Banderas, Hayek, or anyone else. His character is compelling to watch as he quirks his way through the convoluted plot and brings a bludgeoningly sardonic element to the otherwise largely two dimensional characters. Hayek is barely present, Mickey Rourke is bland, and Willem Dafoe was simply a bad choice. He does an almost black-face as a Mexican, the make-up so horridly obvious on his fair features. I find it impossible to believe that there were no Latino actors who could've brought equal marquee stature and shored up the woeful lack of credibility brought by Dafoe. Still, Eva Mendes is a nice evil touch and the heart of the movie may just belong to Ruben Blades as the retired FBI agent out to do the right thing.
Once again, as in Desperado, there is a boy who plays a small but important role in the movie and adds some humanity to the popcorn carnage.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico is a fair part of the trilogy and while it pales in comparison to it's predecessors, standing on its own, it is adequate enough for a good viewing. June 20, 2008

GREAT

THIS WAS A GREAT MOVIE. DESPERADO DID HAVE A SPECIAL CHARM WHICH IS HARD TO TOP, BUT THIS MOVIE SORT OF TOOK A DIFFERENT SPIN. IT HAD TO - DESPERADO WAS THAT GOOD. JOHNNY DEPP IS ADDED TO THE MIX, AND HE MUST HAVE WANTED THIS ROLE, AS HE IS VERY PICKY ABOUT THE ROLES HE PLAYS. HERE, HE DELIVERS AGAIN, AND UPSTAGES EVERYONE, HE'S SUCH A BRILLANT ACTOR. IT'S A GREAT MOVIE. I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYONE BUT THE MOST JADED PERSON SITTING THERE THINKING - THIS SUCKS. IT'S LOADS OF FUN FROM START TO FINISH. THE ONLY PART I DID NOT LIKE WAS THE GORE FACTOR IN TERMS OF WHAT HAPPENS TO DEPP'S CHARACTER IN ONE SCENE. BUT HE MADE IT WORK, AND EVEN MADE IT COMICAL FOR THE REST OF THE MOVIE. AGAIN, DEPP STEALS THE SHOW. June 2, 2008

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