Wolves of Wall Street (2002)

Werewolves? NOT!

A horrible production which contains, at best, a hint of what might be a "werewolf theme" to an otherwise borderline gay sex movie.

And it doesn't even deliver on sex either. Feh! October 21, 2005

So bad I was laughing

When the handsome young stock brokers started taking off their clothes, stripped down to their tight black shorts, and crawled on their knees with their hard bodies and bulbous rears well exposed, I knew I was watching a David DeCoteau film. The fact that it wasn't a film just short of being soft core gay porn didn't confuse me in the slightest. The scene made no sense, and DeCoteau finds the strangest reasons to strip his boys down into their underwear.

I will admit that the inclusion of Eric Roberts had me wondering, but all I really wondered was: WHY? He couldn't have been that desperate for money. He's still acting. Maybe he isn't making the kind of money his sister is, but still...the guy's earning a decent living.

Regardless, this movie had the stench of horror written all over it - and not the good kind of horror. The climax was so silly I was...well I repeate myself here...laughing. Seriously, you have to see it to believe it.

Thank goodness for "On-Demand" from your local cable carriers, I suppose. I never would have seen this "gem" otherwise. April 4, 2005

Wall Street's Meat Market.

Greed is the ultimate theme of this film, and horror (with a slice of homoeroticism) director David DeCoteau realizes this early on and decides to build a film without the costumed monsters of the normal horror genre, but instead with suit wearing professionals that look and act just like you or I. He brings this essence of realism into the film by never quite giving us the werewolf, but showing us how too much power, money, and corruption can "transform" a person just like the classic werewolf. I felt several times that I was watching a rendition of a "wolf in sheep's clothing" because we never actually see the wolves, instead we are shown the corporate suits that seem just like you and I. While DeCoteau does a great job of building the issue that greed is bad, he completely misses the target known as story. I can honestly say that this film has none to speak of.

To build a good story you must first have a solid foundation. In this film there were two foundations, Jeff Allen and the Wolfe Brothers. With these two focal points firmly placed, DeCoteau attempts to build a frame and put siding on his story, but ultimately fails. After consistently unfunny "wolf" jokes, DeCoteau uses the simple technique of flashback to give us the (sorry for the pun) meat of the story. Those points that we missed because Allen was "blacking out" are shown in random, sporadic, and chaotic flash points. Most of them are hard to follow and show either too much or too little of the story. After the first set of these flashbacks, I just didn't care anymore. For this film to truly succeed, I think that it needed a linear story for the audience to follow instead of random crumbs littering the floor. This would have helped to build a stronger main character, a stronger relationship between Allen and Annabella (to explain the ending), and more sinister villains ... if you can call them that. The technique was ok for the first time, but only added to a film that was quickly loosing momentum.

So, we had a failing story, what else went wrong with this film? Outside of Eric Roberts, which seemed like he was in a world all his own, there just seemed to be unanswered questions littering the open spaces of the film. Annabella's ex-boyfriend's death seemed to be a fly in the pan, while her meeting with Dyson (Roberts) left me questioning her loyalty. Who, or what, were these men anyway? Were they cannibals or werewolves? I would assume by the title of this film, Wolves of Wall Street, that it would be a simple answer. I was wrong. Even with the monotonous "wolf" innuendo, I couldn't quite guess. I think the trouble that I was having was the full moon science. How could there have been a full moon every night? I know that it couldn't have been every night, but it felt like it during this film. Perhaps if DeCoteau would have focused a bit more on the science of this film (perhaps watch a couple werewolf films) and less on his male actors removing their shirts in unison revealing their heavily muscled bodies, we could have had a better film. But, I am no director, so what am I to say.

Speaking of the actors, Eric Roberts went above and beyond for this film. It impresses me that he puts so much emphasis on these little films, especially knowing whom his little sister is, and by placing this emphasis he carries this film on his shoulders. This isn't hard considering whom he is working with. The actor who plays Jeff Allen, Mr. William Gregory Lee, looked like he was acting his way through this film. You could literally see the Drama 101 seeping from his sweat, and it was embarrassing. The rest of the wolves...sorry...brokers were basically eye candy for the women whose husbands picked this film up after every copy of Mona Lisa Smile was gone. Nobody helped bring this film to the next level except for Mr. Roberts. The rest were pure dribble.

Finally, I would like to add that if I pay my money to see a horror film, I would actually like to see some horror. There was literally no blood in this film. You would think that with a box showing men with shadows of wolves walking down the street, blood would be second nature. This is not true. It isn't until the end that you actually see blood for the first time, and by then it is so quick (or you are so bored) that it doesn't matter. I needed some scares, some moments of genuine fright, some ... dare I say it ... horror for this film to work. Instead what I found were cheap actors, horrible editing with crappy flashbacks, and no actual horror as far as the eye can see.

Overall, it was a disappointment. While I was not expecting anything extraordinary, I would have thought that somebody (outside Eric Roberts) would have cared about this project, but I guess I was wrong. I needed more solidity with the story and a more focused director to help guide me through the piles of mess that the actors created. I needed help, but nobody listened to my yelp.

Grade: * out of ***** December 9, 2004

Who knew stock brokers were so dramatic?

This is the funniest horror movie I've ever seen. Were they really werewolves? They seemed more like cannibals. But did they actually eat their prey? Every time a little actual HORROR began the scenes ended. And I'm not really sure why two guys would gang up on one girl, strip down to their matching underwear, begin a threesome, and then eat her. Why not save time and eat her with their clothes still on? The best part was when all the wolves were killed with a single ball point pen. Oh Lord how I laughed. The acting was bad and the direction was horrible. They used the same shots over and over again and it got really boring. If this movie wasn't so corny I wouldn't have skimmed through to the end. I have seen worse movies though. I give it two stars because it made me laugh. December 1, 2004

Werewolves of Wallstreet

When pretty boy Jeff, decides to move to New York to get a job on Wall Street, he is shocked and amazed when he hits the big time and gets a job at Wolfe Brothers. Wolfe Brothers, ran by charismatic Dyson, seems like a dream job...Or is it...? His boss seems to have some unusual habits... Well, aside from urinating off of buildings he seems like a perfectly normal boss to me, (Grin). LOL. Things get strange, when Dyson begins hitting on his girlfriend, and the pack decides to make Jeff one of THEM. Can Jeff make it out alive? Or is he destined to be, just one of the pack.

I liked this film a great deal. Especially the first part. I thought the ending was a little bad, (I love how the werewolves just stand around to be killed), and I felt that Jeff was a bit of a jerk to the pack alpha, whom I felt was a fairly nice guy for a monster.

I would've reworked the ending differently, perhaps having Jeff go on the run or ran the pack or something. The ending seemed rushed and made no real sense.

Peeves? I was kind of bored at the beginning but this film really picks up. Rated R for nudity, sex, and violence. July 5, 2004

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