Critters 3 - You Are What They Eat (1991)

Flesh-starved furballs invade an L.A.

A needed to complete the series movie.

Not a very good movie. I do suggest buying it only to complete your collection. Then watch it once only to understand what is going on. February 13, 2008

Critters 3 (1991)

Director: Kristine Peterson
Cast: John Calvin, Aimee Brooks, Christian Cousins, Joseph Cousins, William Dennis Hunt, Nina Axelrod, Leonardo DiCaprio, Don Keith Opper.
Running Time: 86 minutes
Rated PG-13 for violence and mild language.


"Critters 3" starts on the open road as Clifford (John Calvin) his teenage daughter Annie (Aimee Brooks) & his young son Johnny are heading back home from a vacation. Suddenly the tyre on their van blows & they have to stop at a public rest area to fix it. While there Annie and Johnny meet a kid named Josh (Leonardo DiCaprio in his Hollywood debut) who in turn all run into Charlie McFadden (the films co-producer Don Keith Opper) from the previous two "Critters" films. Charlie tells them the story of the Krites and the town of Grovers Bend but they don't believe him, meanwhile back at the van a critter lays some eggs on it's underside, out of sight from everyone. Once Clifford has fixed the tyre the trio set off for their home, a run down urban tenement block in Los Angeles somewhere complete with Critter eggs along for the ride. Upon arrival the eggs hatch & the Critters head straight inside the tenement block quickly disposing of Frank (Geoffrey Blake), the caretaker. As the night draws on the few remaining residents, a fat woman named Rosalie (Diana Bellamy), a telephone repair woman Marsha (Katherine Cortez), an elderly couple Mr. (Bill Zuckert) & Mrs. Menges (Frances Bay) must come together with Clifford & his kids to fight the Critters. Josh also makes an appearance as his Stepfather (William Dennis Hunt) owns the building. But will the group be able to defeat the Critters & prevent themselves from becoming dinner?

Let's be honest, no one say to be shocked to discover this is a cheap little film that doesn't have too much going for it. The plot is the usual: people hunted by critters, this time in a building so it's like "Die Hard" with aliens. Sadly the action is poor, it's not really gorym and the critter attacks are always more funny than thrilling. There is no real excitement or tension and it's all a bit predictable The supposed comedy is nowhere near the one it aspires to (Joe Dante's "Gremlins") and really the funniest bit is how silly the whole thing is. Needless to say the acting is poor and some people can't even be mauled convincingly; however, it is interesting to see DiCaprio's debut, even if he looks about 9 years old! Overall, "Critters 3" is a ridiculous bit of dumb fun that is daft and slightly shoddy, not nearly living up to the previous two installments in the series. It may just pass the time but there are much better horror/comedies out there if you want them. December 31, 2005

Good but not perfect

This one does not have a lot of action in it. A very low death count. Don Opper is a minor characters in this one only appearing at the very begining and very end of the film. Also appearing in this movie in his film debut is a tennage Lenodarno Di Caprio. He has a minor rule also.
Once again the krites apperance has changed. They do not look the same.

This one is more humorous. There is a gag in this similar to in gremlins where the krites our in a dark room but instead of watching Snow White there watching a demonstration on how to prepare chicken.

There are fewer subtitles in this than in the original for the krites. We she a new ability of the krites in this film. When I danger they can let off this loud wobbling cry that is so intense in puitch it can shatter glass. I thought the crystal that glowed when the krites where near by was cool.

I thought the part when charile charges the krite and grabes it and falls of the top of the roof was funny. The part when the krites are tearing up the old couples apartment and scarfying down one there beans. One off the krites chugs down some dish soap. The fire work krite gag was the funnest gag in the movie. If you like this one I recommend the others. If you want lots of action I recommend the first and the second only. October 25, 2005

Critters are now under rated beasties.

A little under rated.The critters find they're way into an apartment building, wreck havoc, eat some jerks, attack some people, burp and fart up a storm, raid the kithen, and even oprea sing! Loads of fun, but could of had better actors and the awesome origenal Critters score. Then I'd give it 5/5. The script was pretty goofy too. And whats up with Charlie doing the Tarzan thing? Jeez. Still could have been much worse. February 25, 2005

Get rid of the Charlie character.

They really should make another CRITTERS movie. With a proper budget, a good script and a dedicated director one solidly entertaining movie could reenergize the whole franchise and take it to a new level. The most important change that needs to be made is you have to get rid of the goofy Charlie character. He was in all four movies and sucked in all four movies. Also make the movies much darker, without so much story and you've got a hit.

As far a Part 3 goes some Krites invade a small apartment building and chase people all around but only kill two people. It's entertaining, but at the same time disappointing. The story goes nowhere, the direction is strictly by the numbers and of course you got the goofy dude showing up and slowing down the story. There is a lot of wasted potential here.

The one and only reason this movie is in my collection is because this is one of the earliest starring roles for Aimee Brooks, who is now legal and very sexy. If you don't believe me just watch MONSTER MAN. February 15, 2005

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