Ice Crawlers (2003)

Uhh.....

Wow, what can I say, I wasn't expecting much when I ordered it...and I'm glad I did that. The plot is bland (drilling/explosives in the artic awaken some weird creatures), the acting sucks, effects (ones not lifted from "THE THING") suck...

I give the makers an extra star, just for trying something new...but if you want some sort of ancient killer bug, then use a Meganula (giant ancient dragon fly), but not Trilobites, they don't seem very scary... AT ALL. I find it funny that this thing kills just about everyone because the morons either stop running or fall...it's dumb...

The creature itself is lame, whatcha expect from a Trilobite with two tentacles. The "Queen" (Must EVERY bug based movie have one)is a simple puppet.

If your looking for a good bug monster on a killing spree movie, then I suggest "SPIDERS" or "MIMIC", but this was painful. Oh, on a side note, I think the makers want you to have a seizure...everytime the creature kills we get a bunch of flashes of scenes from earlier in the film, REALLY gets on your nerves...

So yea, stay away. August 28, 2005

No suspense at all until the very end

This movie would have been better if they had let you see the creature sooner. It takes over an hour before you get a good look at it and by then at least 5 people are already dead. When the insect makes its appearance it's not bad for a low budget movie. This makes the last 15 minutes of the movie exciting. Unfortunately the first hour plus is boring. None of the characters are particularly interesting and neither is all the talk about illegal drilling techniques. At least four people are killed before anyone takes notice, including the doctor who was in charge. Their needed to be more suspense and a better idea of what kind of creature they were dealing with earlier in the movie. June 9, 2005

Cheesy

The director of "Ice Crawlers," John Carl Buechler, should be instantly recognizable to fans of low budget films. He's lensed a few other slightly recognizable films, including "The Curse of the Forty-Niner," "Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood," "Watchers Reborn," and "Troll." O.k., so they aren't classics, but lovers of cinematic sludge will recognize a few of these titles. His real claim to fame is special effects, and his body of work in this area is even more noteworthy. He worked on providing the gluey effects found in "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers," "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare," "A Nightmare on Elm Street 4," Robert Englund's "Phantom of the Opera," "Bride of Re-Animator," "From Beyond," "Trancers," and dozens of other B-movie extravaganzas. His body of work is truly astonishing. Looking at the list, I'm reminded of a few reviews I wrote slamming several of these films. Well, I'm about to do so again with "Ice Crawlers." Why? Because Buechler and company took on a monumental task, namely making a low budget film that attempts to replicate the success of John Carpenter's "The Thing" by completely ripping it off. If you're going to do a knock-off of a horror film, it's probably best to pick one that isn't a cult favorite.

Seriously, I sort of liked "Ice Crawlers" in spite of itself. Set in Antarctica (I told you so), Buechler's film chronicles the adventures of an oil company called Geotech and a batch of baby faced new employees. A series of scary earthquakes during deep ice drilling seems to have alarmed the company suits, so they send in a bunch of young hotshots to figure out what is going on and correct the problem. I won't bore you with all of these kids' names--mainly because I don't remember most of them despite having took notes while watching the film--except to mention Arianna (Karen Nieci) and Curtis (Allen Lee Haff). These two are, of course, the heroes of the story who will stand and fight when the horror shows itself. The rest of the new employees, including a token minority computer expert, are cannon fodder. Anyway, these kids arrive via helicopter into a base loaded with paranoia, potential violence, and conspiracies. The grunts doing the drilling, the most memorable of whom is a crazy German dude named Nelson (Goetz Otto), don't take kindly to strangers telling them what to do. There is also a gorgeous research scientist, Monica Kelsey (Alexandra Kemp), in charge of...well...something important. Oh, and the presence of an evil scientist named Ted Jacobson (David Millbern) virtually requires that some sort of monster arrive on the scene.

It takes awhile to figure out all the specifics, time enough for Dr. Kemp and a few others to bite the bullet, but we eventually learn what's going on in Geotech's Antarctic research facility. It turns out that all this deep drilling brought to the surface a never before seen species of trilobite, horrible looking beasties roughly the size of manhole covers. What a find! Unfortunately, trilobites don't really like human beings if "Ice Crawlers" is any indication. In fact, they find our presence in their arctic digs downright offensive, and they soon take appropriate measures to drive the two-legged bipeds out. It's nothing for these creatures to pull a full-grown man into a large vat of water, or hide underneath a bed so they can drag someone across the floor with their large, bristly tentacles. These monstrously huge trilobites can even burrow into a human being's body. Needless to say, the pulling, dragging, and burrowing throw our trapped little characters into a big tizzy. As the body count rises, it is up to Arianna and Curtis to save the day. It won't be easy, not in the least, especially considering what resides in the drill hole down on the lowest level of the facility. Where are Kurt Russell and Wilford Brimley when you need them?

"Ice Crawlers" does contain a few fun elements. A male viewer will quickly learn to lament the rapid passing of Alexandra Kemp's character. Without her the film seems to lose some of its...er...proportion. The extraordinarily, stupendously, magnificently cheap special effects used to create the trilobites evoke howls of derision rather than groans of terror. These are some really cheesy looking monsters, folks. Whenever a trilobite moved across the floor, I kept waiting for the camera to pull back and reveal a stagehand dragging it along with a piece of string. What's worse, even an idiot can tell that the denouement involves the use of miniatures in a small tub of water. Yet it's all sort of fun in an eye rollingly bad way. I ought to mention here that the scariest part of the film doesn't involve the trilobites or the terrified reactions to them. Rather, it's the worker who takes his shirt off for a shower to reveal the hairiest torso ever captured on film. How about bringing a lawnmower on set to take of that problem, eh? I figured he would live because the trilobites would be too scared to touch him.

The DVD version of "Ice Crawlers" is interesting due to the presence of a lengthy interview with John Carl Buechler. He talks about his early life, how he became interested in doing special effects, how he obtained work in Hollywood, his tenure with Roger Corman, and his interest in directing films. It's nice to finally see what he looks like since everyone knows that the real stars of a horror movie are the guys doing the gory effects behind the scenes. Other supplements include a commentary track and trailers for "Firefight," "Demon Slayer," and "Barbarian." Buechler's film can't compare to "The Thing," but it's not entirely a lost cause either. "Ice Crawlers" is an adequate if derivative way to pass a couple of hours.


January 12, 2005

COOL ENCOUNTERS OF THE BUG KIND

You have to admit---a monster that is part worm/mosquito and has tentacles to boot, is an original idea. ICE CRAWLERS sets no new standards for monster movies, but it's done in such a creepy, let's go back to the fifties style, that it worked for me. There is some confusion in the beginning as to what the two "scientists" are really up to, but we know it's no good. John Carl Buechler (who got his start on one of the Friday the 13th movies) does an admirable job in creating atmospheric tension, and draws acceptable performances from a cast of unknowns. (Unless you saw RODENTZ, which featured Allen Lee Haff, who plays the cowboy Ernest in this one). There are some comic relief moments, especially when hunky Tom tells someone they have more conspiracy theories than an Oliver Stone movie. Overall, the creature effects are good---the shots are quick, and even when it's full frontal, it looks pretty menacing. The ending is appropriate, and of course, leaves the door open for a sequel.
Entertaining, if derivative. April 11, 2004

Not Bad, But Nothing You Haven't Seen Before

Pretty typical creature movie. Some prehistoric creatures are unearthed by a drilling company in Antarctica. They begin to eat the cast one by one until they are finally destroyed by the last survivors(...or are they?).
You've seen it all before, occasionally with better results. Yet this film does have a good overall look as well as some appealing characters. The creature f/x are passable, though not the greatest.
If you're a fan of the whole creature amok genre, "Ice Crawlers" is worth a look. February 22, 2004

More reviews at Amazon.com ...