Picasso Trigger (1988)

The Fishmonger Cometh

For those of you who don't know, a "Picasso Trigger" is a tropical fish. Andy Sidaris' decision to code-name a stone-cold killer after a fish tells you pretty much everything about the atmosphere of this film. If you're in a serious mood don't bother opening the wrapper. But if you're not, and I know I try not to be, PICASSO TRIGGER is a fantastic romp through a sunlit, smiling, no-holds barred T&A universe.

Andy Sidaris deserves (and ultimately will receive)a Special Lifetime Achievement Oscar for his filmmaking. An Emmy winner (for ABC's Wide World of Sports), Andy loves athletic and energetic people, and it shows in his casting of Playmates and Soap Opera hunks in his films. There's plenty of gunslinging action and lots of softcore love scenes. "Bullets, Bombs and Babes" is the Sidaris motto, and PICASSO TRIGGER lives up to it.

In PICASSO TRIGGER, Playmates Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton once again reprise their roles from HARD TICKET TO HAWAII and SAVAGE BEACH as Secret Agents Donna Hamilton and Taryn Kendall. This time, our favorite ladies are on the trail of the man who killed Picasso Trigger, but mostly they are just taking long soapy showers, lolling around in bed in silk teddies, and climbing thong-clad in and out of hot tubs with other (male) agents, who fling suggestive comments at them faster than a speeding bullet.

Taryn is equipped as usual with her undercover gadgets (this time an exploding slot car) and her uncovered breasts. Donna is packing a spear gun (sort of like Claudine Auger in THUNDERBALL but nude). Donna eventually kills Pantera (a very leggy Playmate Roberta Vasquez) who is an enemy double agent, but mostly because she made love with Donna's boyfriend.

Roberta Vasquez looks much better here than in GUNS, by the way, which demonstrates the importance of a good hairstylist (watch both films, you'll see what I mean).

For the second female lead, Hope Marie has relatively little camera time, which is a shame as this was her last Sidaris picture. Whether the two facts are connected is a question someone else has to answer. Unlike many subsequent Playmates, Hope Marie has a natural ingenue look which many of us (me included) find much more appealing than the overpumped silicone and collagen of the 90s-2000s. Dona and Hope Marie had a good on-screen girlfriend chemistry, too, with Hope Marie/Taryn as the protege and Dona/Donna the devoted instructor.

The acting in PICASSO TRIGGER is almost good (the girls remember their lines without getting that deer-in-the- headlights look onscreen) and, believe it or not, Andy actually wrote a plot which, although transparent, holds up well. The location shooting is phenomenal, and PICASSO TRIGGER plays well as a full-color comic book for adults (well, grown males, anyway).

The Special Edition DVD has several segments of "Film School" which show that a good movie can be made on a shoestring budget by inventive people, and there are numerous other goodies, all worth your time.

A splendid time is guaranteed for all. September 22, 2004

Picasso Trigger

The movie is actually very good with some improvements needed in acting but not much. There is skin shown throughout the movie for everyone seems to be in love with someone else, oh well. It's a spy type of movie with a real twist towards the end and it will surprize you. It is really worth getting for your collection but if you aren't sure, definitely rent it, I don't think you'll go wrong. April 16, 2002

Not good.

This movie is like all Sidaris' films...boring and silly. The only aspects that are not flat are the actresses. It's an article of faith among me and my friends that this guy only makes movies to give his stable of "actresses" an excuse to change into progressively revealing outfits; that faith is not shaken by this film. Granted, that's a lot of fun, but doesn't make for a very good movie. The absence of plot deters me from commenting upon it. March 11, 2002

AMAZING!!!

The transfer of the film is astounding... the colors leap off the screen! The movie is great. The added features just make this classic spy flick all the better! The intro with Julie Strain is cool & you also get to see a behind the scenes photo shoot featureng Julie, not to mention a great commentary by Andy & Arlene Sidaris.

Well worth the asking price. December 12, 2001

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