Star Slammer (1988)

Far into the future. A war rages on a distant, desolate planet. Taura, a voluptuous Amazon-like beauty, finds herself mounting a battle against the forces of evil when she tangles with Bantor, a sadistic government official. Soon she is sentenced to hard labor aboard the prison ship Star Slammer and must prove herself to her young female cellmates before earning their respect and leading them in a daring prison break. With every turn, Taura faces new danger as she must outwit the sex-starved warden, out-tough the tyrannical trustee, and battle jagger rats, astro zombies and alien monsters. Packed with action and stunning special effects, "Star Slammer" takes you on a fun-filled ride to the edge of the universe!

"How Do You Like Being A Can Opener?"

"Star Slammer" is an outer space women-in-prison flick from the great schlockmeister Fred Olen Ray, who is also featured as the Mouse Robot. The movie is very tongue-in-cheek and offers several amusingly subtle references to earlier horror films such as "The Brain From Planet Arous", while simultaneously satirizing every cliche in the genre: note especially the appearance by John Carradine as "The Judge" in his 223rd of 235 films.

The film follows Taura from a traumatic battle on planet Arous with Bantor (who ends up with an unsightly and ridiculous hand injury), her subsequent imprisonment on the spaceship prison, her torment, her unhappy reunion with Bantor (and his can opener hand), and eventual revolt and jail break while paying homage to predecessor science fiction classics. The film features an odd cast including midgets with pots on their heads, an ultra-strange orthodox priest of some type, Zaal, played wonderfully by Johnny Legend, and hilarious and pompous dialogue such as "A man who gives in to evil unlocks the door to his own asylum."

Other features include an amply endowed and evil prison warden, a ridiculous monster which is dispatched in a manner that may remind some of the conclusion from "Jaws 2", numerous fights between the prisoners (of course), and some extremely jarring harmonica playing with accompanying dancing. A favorite of mine is the presence of giant rubber rats that engage in fights as realistic and vicious as the famous duel between Bela Lugosi and the octopus. I was mystified as to the purpose of the pastime involving the combination of dancing and boxing, but it made me laugh out loud. This brings me to the Frisbee of Death. This is perhaps the most hilarious death scene ever caught on film. I will say no more about it so you can savor it for yourselves.

The film doesn't take itself especially seriously (if you haven't already guessed), and I particularly enjoyed the frequent public address announcements relating vital information like that the movie of the day is "Jailhouse Rock". This was one of the more entertaining ploys in the film. The film is entertaining in a B-movie sort of way, but is not without detractions. First among the list of issues is the pacing: there actually are some clever satirical concepts here but the pacing is slow, and the film drags. The low budget effects were amusing in a way, but some of the scenes were too close to the serious science films that came before them to be effective as parody or satire, and didn't work well; that is especially true of the protracted climactic space battle.

Overall this earned three stars: it does have entertaining and amusing moments, but they are too far apart, and intermingled with some really loopy dialogue and bad (really bad) overacting. B-movie lovers should enjoy it, and to them I recommend it. May 8, 2008

First feature film appearance for Vivian Schilling

... hey, we all got to start somewhere, right? June 11, 2007

Not great, but not AWFUL! A "GROANER"

I had the opportunity to see this film BEFORE it was released.
I got so lucky because the female lead in this movie, Sandy Brooke, was my STEP-SISTER at the time, so the whole family was anxious to see it. I still have the PRE-RELEASE version on tape.

I DO wish that the makers of the film had had a little bigger F/X budget. Some of the F/X shots in this movie came from "BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS". Others from the TV series "BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25th CENTURY". I really hate it when film makers do things like that.

I have to agree with "A VIEWER from North Carolina", STAR SLAMMER had the potential for camp, but didn't quite make it. HOWEVER, I do NOT think it's awful. It's a good movie if you want to have a few chuckles. As I said, it's a "GROANER", but that doesn't make it AWFUL! (I say that with love Sis, just in case you read this review)

Some of the fun of this movie comes from knowing a few of the BEHIND-THE-SCENES secrets. For Example: the actress who portrayed the Warden of the "STAR SLAMMER" supplied all her own wardrobe! November 27, 2002

just plain awful

this is a very boring film. It has potential for camp, but doesn't utilize it. Is this the same Fred Olen Ray who directed the classics "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" and "Bikini Hoe-Down"? Where is the humor in this flick?

It has the look of sci-fi T&A, but practically no T or A.

The acting, as might be expected, is horrible (althouth the lead is pretty and engaging), but so is the dialogue and plotting. What is John Carradine doing in his cameo? May 16, 2000

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