Deathstalker 2 (1987)

Fun no-budget barbarian movie

A horrible movie that's actually a lot of fun. I never heard of the "Detahstalker" straight-to-video franchise before this flick, but enjoyed it anyway. Long after cut-rate foreign studios mined the Conan-genre dry, "Deathstalker" was still trodding the sands of swords&sandals territory with cheap production values, dumb-gags and nonexistent scripts.

Story? Deathstalker, free-booting adventurer, steps in to save the life of the impoverished Reena, a fortuneteller marked for death by angry customers (she foretells the birth of children to men other than husbands). Reena, as it turns out, is a princess deposed by Jarek the sorcerer. In her place, Jarek has installed Reena's magically-created clone - but the process that created the clone won't allow Jarek to kill the original. There's also Sultana, a warrior who's as beautiful as she is fiercely insistent to...

Oh, does it matter what it's about? You'll probably forget about it two minutes after your player has spat the tape out. (Did somebody make this available on DVD?) However, "Deathstalker" is one of those flicks that taps into its own flaws in a good way. Much like the story and the main character, "Deathstalker" seems like a good-natured relic of a lost age, never really following any path other than that that provides some (cheap) thrills. Nowhere near as poorly solemn as the "Ator" movies, nor as just misguided as "Barbarians", "Deathstalker" is a movie you just know is junk, yet one you can sit through. The best thing here is John Lazar (that's right - "Z-man" is back, and he's handy-as-ever with a sword!!) hamming it up as the evil Jarek. August 29, 2006

Sure it's cheesy, but it's deliberate...

Yeah, this is a sequel with nothing to do with the first one, and yeah, it's no Conan, but it doesn't try to be. Just remember who the writer/director is (the esteemed Jim Wynorski), take your mind off the hook, and go with it!

The premise (soldier of fortune helps a princess in disguise regain the throne)is classic, but it's all told with such a goofy tone that comparison with a more serious film is, well, goofy.

If you have the DVD edition with the director's commentary, you'll see where Wynorski was going when he made the film. The script is full of in-jokes from other movies in the genre, jokes from television, and more than enough one liners to fill a dozen old Bob Hope movies. You also get John LaZar (from Beyond the Valley Of The Dolls) as the evil sorcerer, Monique Gabrielle (of a zillion b-movies) as the damsel in distress, and Toni Naples in black leather as Sultana, who swings a mean sword.

Add to that a gazillion extras (all masked so they can be used over and over in other scenes), lots of wooden swords painted silver, a fight to the death with Queen Kong (featuring Amazon ring girls holding up the round number painted on cardboard). Yep friends and neighbors, this one leaves no cliché unheard. Do I recommend it? Wholeheartedly. Genre fans won't be disappointed.

May 22, 2005

One of my all time favourite movies!

From the moment, in the opening sequence, when Sultana's (the delicious Toni Naples) vow "I'll have my revenge - and Deathstalker too", heralds the title - "Deathstalker 2" on screen, accompanied by Chuck Cirino's amazing score, I fell totally in love with this movie! No sad Conan clone this!

Cult director Jim Wynorski has quite simply given us one of the most entertaining movies of all time.

The masterful casting of John Terleskey as our wisecracking hero and the gorgeous, scantily-clad Monique Gabrielle in her inspired double-role, ensures a whole laboratory of sexual chemistry between the highly picturesque duo. They also look like they're enjoying this bawdy romp no end!

The unprecedented amount of inspired one-liners, corny puns and cheeky verbal and visual references to other movies (most notably Spaghetti Westerns, Hammer Horror and Star Wars) demand repeat viewing to extract every delicious drop of Wynorsky's waggery.

The plot is a simple one - our eponymous hero (but is Deathstalker his first name or his last name?), promised a great reward, teams up with Evie the seer (Gabrielle), whose rightful position of princess has been taken by an evil clone of herself (evil Evie of course). Battling their way past zombies, pirates, and Amazon tribeswomen, Terleskey and Gabrielle never miss an opportunity to extract every potential bit of humour from each scenario. The other players join in the fun too - John La Zar, as evil wizard (is there any other kind?) Jerak warns Deathstalker that grave-robbing carries a stiff penalty in these parts, Sultana pokes fun at Evie's wardrobe (the Wilma Flintstone look) and pirate Chin (a tribute to Hawaii 5-O) and his hapless team are to bounty-hunting what the Archbishop of Canterbury is to bungee-jumping.

Scene follows glorious scene, my personal favourites being the initial punch-up in the tavern, evil Evie tiring of her musical dwarf playing nothing but the Deathstalker theme, Deathstalker's hilarious fight against the Amazon's champion and , of course, the final scene - when told that his heroic exploits will be reenacted for centuries to come, Deathstalker grins and says "Well, I sure hope they get a good looking guy to play me". What a parting shot!

There's no mistaking the miniscule budget here, and there's even some footage recycled from the (inferior) Deathstalker 1 and a couple of amusing inadvertent anachronisms and continuity errors. With a movie as refreshingly entertaining as this, who cares though?

The DVD contains the outtakes (the same as were also present during the end titles on the VHS version), the theatrical trailer and, delightfully, optional full-length commentary by Wynorsky, Terleskey and Naples. This is very very funny, and adds yet another dimension to the whole package, as Wynorsky flirts with Naples and points out anachronisms, such as a tyre visible as our heroes ride past.

For potential UK purchasers, make sure your DVD player is multi-region, as this is only available as Region 1 (NTSC). My copy took around 10 days to arrive from the States. At this price, Deathstalker 2 has to be the DVD bargain of the century!

You will either think it is brilliant or complete garbage! I am convinced that most viewers with a sense of fun, will decide it is the former.


March 1, 2005

Back! By popular demand! :)

This is a great "B" movie. I rated it a 5, which i don't ever hand out to "B" movies, but as far as they go, this is one of the greatest. Obviously it can't compare with greats like BraveHeart and such, but you have to know what you're getting into before watching this.

I believe there are 4 Death Stalker movies. 1 and 4 try to be "serious", kind of like Conan rip-offs.... not real great. 2 and 3 go the more "humorous" route, with 3 failing pretty badly.

But Death Stalker 2 is GREAT! Adventure, comedy, action, slashing, and for those that like beautiful women in their movies, Monique Gabrielle doesn't disappoint!

Be ready for a cheesy movie, but it's fun cheesy! Lots of great (and bad) one-liners throughout. :)
February 5, 2005

"I will get my revenge, and Deathstalker too!"

OMG. This is a sequel to a Conan rip off. I mean, this movie has greatness written all over it. The first one was made to be semi serious, but it didn't exactly come out smelling like roses. So the creators saw what they had to do to redeem themselves. Make a tongue in cheek sequel. So they made this abomination. This movie had some one liners that were pretty funny, and then it had others that came out as ridiculous as a man wearing clown shoes in a mine field. This movie is good for watching with friends so that you can laugh and have a good time. But otherwise, don't bother.
What I learned from Deathstalker 2: Huts do not have doors, and barbarians carry ninja stars as weapons.
If you liked this movie, I recomend: Better taste in movies.
Caution! Conan fans will be offended. August 8, 2004

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