Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)

When Battlefield Earth was released in May 2000, this inept sci-fi epic qualified as an instant camp classic, prompting Daily Variety to call it "the Showgirls of sci-fi shoot-'em-ups." Other reviews were united in their derision, and toy stores were left with truckloads of Battlefield Earth action figures that nobody wanted. As the film's star and coproducer, John Travolta must have felt an urge to enlist in the witness protection program.

Recklessly adapted from the novel by sci-fi author and Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard and set in the year 3000, the film is no worse than many cheesy sci-fi flicks, but the sight of Travolta as a burly, dreadlocked alien from the planet Psychlo provokes unintentional laughter from first frame to final credits. As Terl, the Psychlo security chief who conquers Earth and hatches a secret scheme to steal all the gold from Fort Knox (which sits conveniently in wide-open vaults), Travolta hams it up as if he knows he's in a camp-fest. (In a cameo as a long-tongued Psychlo seductress, Travolta's wife, Kelly Preston, only adds to the absurdity.) Barry Pepper (the praying sharpshooter from Saving Private Ryan) tries his best to convey charisma as Jonnie, the human slave who leads an uprising against Terl's tyranny, but he's adrift in a foolish plot that makes even smart humans look stupid.

The decrepit look of a dreary future is convincingly established (the ruins of Washington D.C. recall Logan's Run on a grander scale), but in the wake of its ludicrous climax, the best that Battlefield Earth can hope for is a Dune-like fate: it might improve in a longer director's cut--but that's wishful thinking. --Jeff Shannon Amazon.com

Intergalactic awefullness at it's best!!

Don't care what anyone says out there. This movie was great in it's right and is just plain fun to watch. People say the acting was horrible and there were too many pot holes and factual errors? I say crap on you. IT'S A SCI-FI FILM!!!!! Who cares how accurate it is or how cheesy or not cheesy. Enjoy it for what it is - a movie adaptation of a really crappy book. John Travolta did a better job than L. Ron Hubbard ever could have! December 3, 2008

Battlefield Earth rocks! Put simply!

I had loads of negative thoughts going through my head when I first saw Battlefield Earth. People rave that this is one of the worst movies ever and that it was a piece of junk that should never have been made. I watched it for myself and I was impressed. First of all the story's plot line was nothing new to me. Earth being overrun by vicious aliens and humans fighting back to save their planet. That's a great plotline because I love post-apocalyptic stories. This one may not be as great as The Stand, Waterworld, or The Postman, but it must be seen to be believed. John Travolta may not be at his best here but at least he plays a villain and that's what he's probably best at. He was a good villain in Face/Off and The Punisher, but I find him a little more comical here. Hell he keeps calling the humans "RAT BRAINS"! The film's special effects were not really that bad and were pretty cool. The final battle scenes were not entirely terrific but were enough to keep me entertained. I heard the book was really good and I don't know where the movie fell flat of it's demands. I heard that it was hard to turn a lengthy book into a near 2-hour flick. I can see that as tough. The movie did have a good ending and that may be one of the best things of the movie. Enough with the movie and let's talk about the DVD. First, it has absolutely one of the coolest pictures I've ever seen. The extras are awesome but the film's theatrical trailer is worth watching for the choir music there. You will feel like you're in an epic adventure. Gotta love choir music. Without that there would be no epic adventure films. As for the movie, you may want to give it a second chance. I saw it for the first time and I loved it. It was funny and serious both at the same time. Okay it had some lousy dialogue, but what movie doesn't have that nowadays? All in all, great movie and very overlooked! November 28, 2008

Plan 9 From Outer Space, Move Over

Though I've been itchin' to use the title, 'Plan 9 From Outer Space, Move Over' ever since I spotted a copy of 'Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000' in the used video section of Goodwill, I can't really say that 'Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000' is the worst movie of all time, or the millennium, or the century, or even the year. Though some people have called it that, I suspect that it is a bit premature, since it was released in the year 2000 and there is still one hundred years to go until the next century. In fact, as science fiction films go, it was OK, and it was pretty entertaining. I think a lot of the criticism was due to a back lash against the author, who founded a religion that some call a cult--I'm sure you've heard of it, and if you haven't, here's a coupon for a free Personality Test.

There were some things that made it hard to suspend your disbelief, if you want to nit pick, but hey, it was science fiction. The dreadlocks on aliens Terl (John Travolta) and Ker (Forest Whitaker) was one cringe worthy element, kind of like watching Jar Jar Binks, you squirm in your seat wondering what was the director thinking? Is this movie slightly racist? Another thing, they had these clips on their noses that were supposed to help them breath, but just looked like they were on the swim team in high school.

But I 'liked' Forest and Travolta's take on the alien Psychlos. Travolta especially. He was just kind of a scary goofball, a combination of cunning intelligence and dumb as a bag of hammers. In short, he was Oh So Travolta.

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Terl: Ker, I'd like you to meet Chirk.
[Ker grunts appreciatively]
Terl: She's, um... she's, um...
Chirk: His soon-to-be newly acquired secretary.
Terl: Yes.
Ker: [eagerly] Really?
Terl: [quietly, to Ker] She's stupid enough not to be a menace, good-looking enough to be decorative; she gets drunk with economical speed...
Terl: [normal voice] - and has other advantages.
[Chirk extends her very long tongue]
Ker: Ooh. I can see that.
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There were moments of humor that were actually intentional. Like, the humans left on earth tell tales of past glory, where you would cross through Golden Arches and food would magically appear. Or, speaking of food, Terl was somehow under the impression that humans loved to eat rats, since he witnessed some starving ones forced to do that by hunger.

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Terl: You... Hungry, little fella? Want some rat? It's good!
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The sound track was interesting, composed by Elia Cmiral (pronounced "Smear all") from Czechoslovakia; it probably would have been better received if it had not been smeared with all the stigma of this controversial film. Cmiral also composed soundtracks for 'Ronin' and 'Stigmata.' As I researched this film, I read about a soundtrack for the book, 'Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000' that was composed by its author, L. Ron Hubbard. But that isn't the film soundtrack--still, it is interesting that Hubbard, in addition to everything else composed music. I have not heard it, but for the curious, it is called 'Space Jazz.'

Though 'Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000' is not the worst movie ever made, in my humble opinion, I'd still love to see it skewered on 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' by Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot. For those unfamiliar with MST3k, it is a science fiction spoof where a crew aboard a space ship is forced to watch the worst movies ever made, and the viewer sees their shadows along the bottom, as if you are sitting one row behind them in a theater, as they make snide comments about the movie. Now that is something I'd buy a ticket for.

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Chirk: I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.
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Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000

Battlefield Earth: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Ronin: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Stigmata: Music From The MGM Motion Picture Soundtrack

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Urban Cowboy

Primary Colors

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The Last King of Scotland (Widescreen Edition)

The Crying Game

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Terl: Attention. This is Terl, your chief of security. Exterminate all man-animals at will, and happy hunting!
============================================== October 31, 2008

Riff away!

I was so happy to find this piece-o-turd for about a buck and a half at a yard sale. Now I can download the Riftrax and enjoy listening to the former MST3K pros tear it to shreds. October 21, 2008

Most Crumulent Movie EVAR!

Most cliche ridden bizarre film I've ever seen, and I've watched Zardoz! If you approach this as the horrible turkey it is, then you can enjoy the horrific acting, sets, dialog, well.. everything. This thing resulted in a $121 million dollar law suit, and it's easy to see why. If you're a turkey watcher, you'll enjoy this bad film (although the premise is actually promising, and in competent hands could have been a good sci-fi movie). If you want to only watch good stuff, skip this! October 16, 2008

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