Wrong Turn (2003)

Inbreed Profiling

Why oh why must we always shade inbreeds in such a negative light? Do they all have to be psycho-criminal-antisocial halfwits? That's profiling - and profiling is bad! When will somebody finally portray a 13 fingered, one-eyed, limp-walking, shack inhabiting, drooling hillbilly as a positive role model? Maybe a doctor - or a clergyman - or a fireman - or a lawyer (oops! scratch that - the hillbillies would protest!)

Oh yeah, seriously this was a great film in this genre: suspenseful, a well-thought out script, and better than average acting. Although, I will admit I didn't mind seeing the whiny girl get it (that ain't a spoiler - you know she's going to)
December 20, 2008

A Wrong Turn in the Woods! RUN!!!

The story of a group of young adults who get stranded and massacred in the woods of West Virginia by a trio of inbred killers. I liked it very much. After hearing alot of negative remarks about it, I was surprised at how suspenseful it was. Many said it was like the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre which is true assuming you don't watch either film. That's like saying That Fright Night and Dracula are the same, it makes you sound like an idiot. Wrong Turn has more in common with The Hills Have Eyes than any other movie as far as the plot. That is not to say that they are the same, or even derivative. If you've missed either you should see both, it would make for an awesome double-feature. The great thing about Wrong Turn is that it's done with modern effects and a good budget, but it's 70's horror style. There's not a huge twist at the end, the story is pretty much what you think it is, and super good at it. The explanation is simple, believable and not supernatural - a perfect mix for a slasher film. Also the gore is higher than most slashers these days, the killing makes you jump a little - which is what a slasher should do. I don't want to laugh during the kills, I want suspense.
September 23, 2008

Worth the Detour

Jesse (Eliza Dushku) and her four friends (two other hot women - Filet and Ribeye, and two guys - Sirloin and Porterhouse), are on a trip in the wilderness of West Virginia when they run over some barbed-wire, destroying their car's tires. Soon thereafter, a young doctor named Chris rams their car. The six are stranded on a seemingly abandoned dirt road; however, they just happen to be trespassing.

The six interlopers are on the ol' Johnson land. Brothers Bubba (nicknamed Three Finger, he's the young one who likes to climb trees and laugh), Cletus (nicknamed Saw-Tooth, he's the middle one who's fond of archery), and big brother Bobby Ray (nicknamed One-Eye, he's the brain of the family who likes canning and preserving) soon see the six outsiders, and become rightfully enraged. Forced to fend for themselves from a young age - their parents dying young as a result of "bad genetics" - the three brothers were left with no other kin to help with cookin', cleanin', and learnin'. As a result of this harsh upbringing, and the fact that not one is smarter than the average chimp, they manage however they can, following in their family's traditions of inbreeding and cannibalism. Knowing only what they have picked up through trial and error, the brothers decide to not only defend their land, but also pick up lunch in the process.

The rest is predictable of most slasher flicks. The women drop clothes, get wet, and scream a lot. The men do heroically stupid things. Blood flies, and all the right people die miserable deaths. Incredible tension and struggle takes place, especially a great battle in the forest ceiling, as the three brothers defend their home valiantly, but ultimately unsuccessfully. In the end it's a heart-warming story of three misunderstood brothers who just happen to enjoy dismemberment and the taste of human flesh.

With great production value, believable gore, beautiful people like Eliza Dushku throughout, a hilarious cackle from Bubba, and a few great surprises, even those who don't appreciate the horror genre should like this one. August 6, 2008

I liked It

I Liked It. Not a teen slasher flick. Had a good story. Watch it for yourself. August 5, 2008

Worst slasher/horror movie!

I can think of about 100 other slasher films that I'd rather watch than this. If you want a jump-out-of-your-seat scary movie don't waste your time on this one. On the stupid scale this one is a 10. May 28, 2008

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