The Swimmer (1968)

Burt Lancaster gives one of his most daringly complex performances in The Swimmer, a fascinating adaptation of John Cheever's celebrated short story. At first it seems that middle-aged businessman Ned Merrill (Lancaster) is merely enjoying a spontaneous adventure, swimming from pool to pool among the well-tended estates of his affluent Connecticut neighborhood. But as Ned encounters a variety of neighbors, we see from their reactions that Ned's on an entirely different kind of journey--that he is balanced on the edge of some mysterious psychosis that we can't fully understand until the film's final, devastating image. A compelling portrait of loss, refracted memories, and deep-rooted emotional denial, The Swimmer sprung from the same late-'60s soil that yielded similarly ground-breaking literary films like The Graduate and Goodbye, Columbus. It's an egotistical showcase for the physical prowess of its 55-year-old star, but Lancaster turns it into something deeper, more disturbing, and completely unforgettable. --Jeff Shannon Amazon.com

A great Drama...

A Classic Book ( short Story ) made into a classic movie.

This is one of those intelligent, thoughtful & disturbing dramas that stays with you such as "Long Days Journey into Night" or " The Pawnbroker".

There are no Zombies. There are no naked people. There is no gore.

There is great movie making & superb acting. One of Lancasters best... October 12, 2008

Not bad -- EXISTENTIALLY DREADFUL!

This movie is so bad; but I mean, so, so, so-so, soooooooooo bad!

Have you ever been watching a really awful movie and you keep watching it because there's a certain perverse aestheticism to its awfulness. At a certain point, you hope, you suspect, that it might reach the intriguing level of "camp." In short, the movie is, if nothing else, an amusing curiosity, good for a laugh -- terrible though it may be. ... That's not this movie. Nah! ... This movie is truly an abomination.

Sadly, this movie has as its star one of the greatest actors of all time, Burt Lancaster. I used to think -- before I saw this movie -- that Burt Lancaster could not be in a bad movie simply because his mere presence would make the movie interesting. Alas, not this time, Burt, not this time.

Well, ok, where to begin? ...

This movie is an adaption of one of John Cheever's best short stories. So why did the geniuses at Columbia pictures change it? The film adaptation has entire scenes deleted and, worse, characters that weren't in Cheever original story.

To make matters worse, the screenplay is by the director, Frank Perry, and it's, you guessed it -- awful.

This movie could have easily turned into a murder mystery, in that there's a scene in which John Cheever himself has a very small part. Why might there have been a murder in the movie, if not in real life? Because in the movie Burt Lancaster and the young girl he meets along the way are meeting and greeting people at a pool party and as Burt starts to turn to John Cheever, I swear, there's this look in Burt's eye, as if to say: "Please, Mr. Cheever, don't shoot me, don't kill me with your bare hands for lousing up your story!"

As for the "highlight" of the movie, oh, that's easy: it's the scene with Burt Lancaster and Joan Rivers. Yes, that's right, you heard me right, *the* Joan Rivers has a part in this movie. (Note: The movie was made in 1968, so I'll let you figure out how many facelifts ago that was.)

Joan, plays (are you ready?) a femme fatale. Or, more accurately, a suburban floozy. She has eyes for Burt.

Speaking of eyes, here's something you have to see to believe. In Burt Lancaster's scene with Joan Rivers there's booger, clearly visible, in Burt's right nostril.

Now, I'm going to repeat that for the West Coast. ...

Burt Lancaster, in his scene with Joan Rivers, has a big, round, gray booger in his right nostril.

And they call Joan Rivers gross!

Folks, I kid you not. I am as serious as rust on a summer porch in Cape Cod. I played the scene back three times on my DVD player. It's there.
The booger lives! It's ALIVE!

Evidently, no one in the production company, saw it. Is that possible? I say, yes, because the people involved in this movie were probably so desperate to be done with the awful mess that they more than likely didn't look at ANY of the movie while they were shooting it!

It's like when you go to a stomach doctor and he asks you if you want to see up your keister on that little teevee screen he has in the room. Most people demur.

Now before you assume that the Burt Lancaster-Joan Rivers scene was the worst scene in the movie ... I have even *more* bad news: it wasn't. There were, if you can imagine, far WORSE scenes in the movie.

For example, there is a very long scene toward the end of the movie with Burt and Janice Rule that is, without doubt, the worst-acted, worst-written, worst-directed, worst-lit, worst-dubbed scene in movie history.

I read recently that Janice Rule eventually gave up her acting career and became a psychoanalyst. And, by God, this movie may have done it!

Then, there's the ending. Oy vey, what an ending! At last, we're shown the denouement of the Burt Lancaster character ... and shown the denouement of the Burt Lancaster character. ... and shown the denouement of the Burt Lancaster character. ... Folks, the ending of this movie went on longer than it took Methusela to count his Social Security dough.

"OK, OK, we get it already!" I yelled at my teevee screen. "Please, have you no sense of decency, at long last? Please, enough already, we get it!"

And then -- finally -- it was over. And I knew, I knew in my bones that come hell or high water, there was nothing in life that this walking-around biped couldn't face, having survived the existential dread of sitting through ... "The Swimmah"! (And not even a feency-schmancy Swimmah at that.)

But then I began to think: what about that booger in Burt Lancaster's right nostril? Who'll believe me? They'll think I'm nuts. But it's there, by God, it's there! A big, round, gray one.

But, listen, if you don't believe me, see for yourself.

Wait a minute. Wait a cotton-pickin' minute! I get it. I get it. I bet the reason they put this movie out in DVD format is because people just like me will tell their friends and acquaintances, even total stranger: "Hey you've got to see this movie, Burt Lancaster has a big booger in his right nostril. No kidding!" ... I mean, why else would they release this turkey in DVD *except* for that booger?

Finally, as I write this review, I see that 38 out of 47 reviewers gave this movie either 4 or 5 stars. Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking; this is where he says something like: "How can these people be so dumb?" But no, no-no, that's not my style, friends. I know all too well that my fate in life is to be surrounded by fools & knaves. (King Lear has nothing on this boy.) No, rather, I say to those who've given this turkey 4 or, nay tell, *5* stars ... Go forth and be little in my sight. April 30, 2008

The Swimmer...

I saw this movie as a young teenager in the mid 70's. I only saw it once, and it has stuck with me for 30+ years. The ending left me scratching my head - but it conveyed the meaning quite clearly. Nothing was as it seemed - much time had passed - and the world as Burt Lancaster's character - was no more. See it for yourself in order to understand why the majority of people that have reviewed this film think so highly of it! I rate this movie - 5 stars! Kudos to Mr. Lancaster!! February 9, 2008

Superb and disturbing

Burt Lancaster gives one of his greatest ever performances in 'The Swimmer'. The plot is simple, Ned (Lancaster) decides to swim his way home via the swimming pools of his wealthy friends and neighbours. As his journey progresses it becomes apparent that all is not what it seems.
Lancaster was 55 when this film was made and he is in fantastic shape...

Only at the very end of this film did I begin to understand the subtle hints that the other characters had been giving at all along. The ending is arguably one of the finest in film history. It is totally unexpected and unless you have read the book or a detailed film synopsis it will probably be so for you.

I would concede that this film will not be to everybodies taste. Some may consider it pretentious, and perhaps just plain dull, so if you can rent it first or watch it on TV before buying it would probably be wise to do so. October 28, 2007

The River Lucinda

This is one of the best movies you've never heard of. I found the VHS in a bargain bin at about 2 a.m. in a Ralph's in LA. For $1.29 or whatever, it was sure worth a shot to get an obscure Burt Lancaster movie.

"Neddie" (Lancaster) gets this wacky idea to make a river out of his neighbors' swimming pools and swim home from the "source," the first stop on his pool-to-pool tour. At this home, Ned is greeted as a beloved friend, invited for cocktails, etc. At the next house, the greeting isn't so warm. And so on. By the end of his expedition down the "River Lucinda" (as Ned calls it, in honor of his wife), the neighbors he encounters are seething with hatred toward him. He seems to not have a clue why.

I have had a mild version of this experience. At the neighborhood gas station I frequented, I was accused of stealing a squeegie. I had been on friendly terms with the owner and his wife for years, but suddenly they were openly hateful. Had they really disliked me all along and only now showed their true feelings? So I know just how poor Ned was feeling on his sad journey home.

This dreamlike, surreal movie, is noteworthy for another reason: Joan Rivers! In the midst of a hoity-toity party (especially scorching for poor Ned) you spot a young woman who looks familiar. Can that be Joan Rivers? Yes, it's Joan in a small speaking part.

October 12, 2007

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