Simon Sez (1999)

Simon Sez

This movie was one of those movies that was so dumb that it was funny. I liked it because it had Dane Cook in it. He is one of the greatest comedians that I know of. February 15, 2007

Cult-Worthy, perhaps

This movie is ridiculous, as you might expect considering Dennis Rodman is not only an actor in it, he's the LEAD actor. However, Dane Cook is in it, and he's one of the funniest men alive. Perhaps he doesn't shine in this movie, but for such a cheap price, it's still worth it. I've seen other reviews that say if you like bad movies, or are in the mood for one, that would be a good time to watch. That captures the point of this movie precisely. If you're looking for a good action movie, look elsewhere, but if you're a fan of Dane Cook (and if you've heard his act, you probably are), or you can enjoy cheesy movies, then it's worth it. August 27, 2005

Orson Welles, Anthony Hopkins........Dennis Rodman

The heck did I just watch? I really don't know, and fact is I'm not sure how much I WANT to know, but as a reviewer its my job to make you, the gentle reader, know. There's good news and bad news about the movie: the good news is Dennis Rodman isn't too bad in his acting role. The bad news is...he's the BEST actor in the whole dang thing.

The acting by the rest of the cast is minimal, and further tarnished by the atrocious script writing. This is especially true for the character Nick, who cavorts about like a constipated ape. I think he was trying to make me laugh - mostly I was crying.

Don't know quite what was going on - there's a lot of scurrying around, beating people up, shooting one another, crashing into things, mostly for a disk but it seems but there's a kidnapping involved as well. Oh yeah and some love interest between Rodman and one of the villains, but eh...my brain was kind of lost by then. The sad thing is that while there is a lot of action in this movie, it feels really amatuerish. This is especially true in one scene where Dennis Rodman ties a girl up using a sash. I think they were trying to make him look like Jackie Chan, but all it looks like is he wraps a sash around her with some swooshing sound affects added in later. Oh yeah, and look out for the scene where Dennis Rodman deflects bullets with a tray cart.

Watch it if you're in a mood for a bad movie. Just remember its a Dennis Rodman movie. January 16, 2005

I THINK THIS MOVIE KICKS! 8/24/04

i hapen to think that dennis rodman is cool.i've seen the movie in the past,but it wasn't available on dvd for a long time.i'm relieved that they released it on dvd.this movie is ful of action & comedy but everyone has their own preferences when it comes to movies so you may or may not agree with me.i myself think simon sez is kick butt movie with plenty of action & comedy.the two monks are hillarious so i would definitely recommend this movie! August 24, 2004

So bad, it's great

Simon Sez is, more than anything else, a movie that [stinks]. It is, however, also a movie that isn't likely to irritate because of its badness.

The plot revolves around a bunch of totally over the top characters, one of them being Dennis Rodman... I mean, Simon (played by Rodman), an ex-CIA agent now working for Interpol (although I frankly doubt his are Interpol working methods). Simon works in a small town on the french coast and is helped by two monks of death who live under a church and seem to be equipped with very sophisticated electronics. Whether they are real monks or not is never explained but, then again, nothing is really explained in the movie itself.

Although Simon seems to be investigating on some kind of story about a kidnapped girl, it is only when a former friend, Nick enters the scene that he really gets involved in the whole thing, which turns to be almost a story of some kind of disc for some kind of secret weapon. I guess I can stop here because, quite frankly, the story is absurd and ridiculously illogical.

The characters in this movie are some of the most over-the-top I've ever seen. Nick, for instance, behaves like an idiot most of the time: in the first ten minutes, he imitates a dog and a raptor such in an unbelievable way and in unlikely situations, it would be an understatement to call it a joke. The evil guy himself is a ridiculous caricature, then there are the two monks who are the craziest idiots... well, aside of Nick. Rodman, on the other hand, is absolutely restrained in this movie. He says a few lines, and always with the same facial expressions (some kind of smirk). Then there's a girl who fights against Simon in the beginning, then starts fighting with him and finally sleeps with him. Who is she and what she's doing here is never answered.

The movie is definitely an action/comedy and does provide laughs, but I am really not sure that laughs come they way they were supposed to. To put it clear, most of the time, you laugh at the movie rather than with it. At the end, you will scratch your head, not quite believing what you just watched.

It is a bad movie. Very bad. But if you are a fan of bad movies, or if you are willing to have a lot of laughs with your friends, maybe while drinking some alcoholic beverages, you will find a lot to enjoy here.

In any other case, avoid like the plague. December 30, 2001

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