The Next Best Thing (2000)

You'd be hard-pressed to find a modern-day couple as impossibly glamorous as Rupert Everett and Madonna; their casting as common folk in the gay-parenting drama The Next Best Thing is just one of the film's myriad problems. (One thing we never needed to see was these two pushing grocery carts in a supermarket. It's just unnatural.) Best friends in sun-dappled L.A. (he's a landscaper, she's a yoga instructor), Abbie (Madonna) and Robert (Everett) fall into an amorous embrace on a fateful Fourth of July after a few too many martinis. Robert's gay, which complicates things; even more complicating is Abbie's confession a few weeks later that she's with child. Six years later, Robert, Abbie, and their son Sam are all living together peacefully and happily--that is, until a hunky investment banker (Benjamin Bratt) starts making eyes at Abbie, throwing their carefully constructed dynamic into disarray.

Lazily directed by Oscar-winner John Schlesinger (Midnight Cowboy) with an eye towards his actors' muscle tone rather than characterizations (even the kid does yoga), the faults in The Next Best Thing aren't solely on the shoulders of its miscast stars, but rather the painfully inept screenplay by Tom Ropelewski. With cardboard dialogue that sounds like bad first-draft material--including wailing by Madonna about how she can't find a man (ha!) and a gym-buffed Everett complaining about gay male body image (double ha!)--the movie stumbles from domestic comedy to custody-suit tragedy when it takes a bizarre left turn in the third act. Any statements about new definitions of family are buried underneath these dubious events, which (of course) provide teary courtroom outbursts for both leads. Everett has a quick way with a one-liner, and Madonna is more relaxed than she's ever been in a film, but Schlesinger just tosses them in front of the camera with no help whatsoever; the supporting cast, including Lynn Redgrave, Neil Patrick Harris, and Illeana Douglas, is also left to flounder inexplicably. There's a thoughtful and provocative movie to be made about gay parents, but The Next Best Thing certainly isn't it. --Mark Englehart Amazon.com

The Next best Thing-to do is skip the film!

I saw this flick on cable while laid up sick during the holidays. This movie was like a bad LIFETIME Channel film for gay men. It's about a gay guy who has a girl for a best friend (shock, there. They complain how they can't find a good man (okay, Madonna/ OK Rupert--I'm not basing the chracters on the peoeple who play them, but, heck, they are both very attractive poeple--I hate when attactive poeple complain about "not finding someone"--could it be it's becuase their shallowness gets in their way cuase they want to find love with their eyes rather than their hearts?)

So, One night, these two "friends" have too much to drink and they sleep together (Yeah, this always happens with Gay Men, too!) She gets pregnant, the two decide to keep the kid. Fast Forward six years, Madonna's character finds a man, wants custody of the kid and Rupert fights for custody, only to find that Madonna lied to Rupert-it's not even his kid-it's from some other guy Madonna was frolicking with when the accidental=gay guy/straight girl sleep together happens. The story is basicly how bitter and selfish poeple can be, no matter if this was between a traditional Mom and Pop story, and how so many children suffer from the action's of adults.

The thing with this movie is---THE BAD ACTING--this Rupert guy is nothing special-just a tall guy that's kinda buff. Madonna's fake Accent (the two's characters are supposed to be from England) is just laughable and the fact that she's a yoga instructor and Rupert is a damn gardener is hysterical in itself--for, yeah, these occupations make oh so much $$$$ for them to live in the big houses they have.

Madonna HAS TO KNOW BY NOW SHE CAN'T ACT--can't she see this thru all the yoga and meditation she does? But, since she released the HARD CANDY cd, I also think she needs to retire from the music scene and just do charity work. Stop making movies, stop working with "hip" hop producers and making garbage music...Reflect and see it would be wrong to become a cariture of yourself.... June 29, 2008

Really just so-so

I've watched this movie twice, and I am not sure I will watch it again.
First of all, I'm one who had never had anything bad to say about Madonna's acting, but here she's really bad. She gets better and the movie progresses, it's almost distracting, because she's supposed to be the center of the attention.
Rupert Everett is fine, he looks dashing of course, like Benjamin Bratt.
But then, the movie itself is really badly done. They had the locations, the sets, and yet it's just not at all good and almost boring at times, not to mention the familiar places we've been at before and the really annoying court scenes. Just how many times do we have to see attorneys trashing innocent people?
Honestly, there is nothing new in this movie to make it worth watching more than once to convince yourself how not good it is. May 25, 2008

5 Stars! Thought-provoking and Deep

Finally, a film that is much less cynical than most love stories I've seen. Forgiveness is a rare lesson taught in Hollywood, much less TOLERANCE. The Director/Writer both illustrated an idea-- Love is what people need, not conventionality or normalcy. The parts of Rupert's grandparents show a contrast in accepting their son's lifestyle. My favorite character was the grandmother, but Madonna did her best work as well. 5 Stars for The Next Best Thing! March 9, 2008

Debatable accent but otherwise a slice of fun

Who hasn't out there heard a version of American Pie? Either by Don McLean or Madonna? For this movie, Madonna did her own version of American Pie, with Rupert Everett appearing in the video, and also doing backing vocals.

The Next Best Thing teamed up Madonna & Rupert, the latter playing the exact same role he played in My Best Friend's Wedding, just more toned down. Yes, I know, Madonna is never going to be a terrific, despite her frequent attempts, but she's bearable at least. Although her accent is very dodgy in this, it's like she can't decide what the Atlantic she wants to be from.

The storyline is basically, Abbie (Madonna) is a yoga instructor, who is desperately broody. Her boyfriend, Kevin (played by Michael Vartan), is a commitment-phobe, and moves out. After a drunken night out with her gay best friend, Robert (played by Rupert), she discovers she's pregnant.

That's pretty much the storyline, the rest is really predictable. When the son turns 6, Abbie meets a new man, Benjamin Bratt, and wants to get married to him. Robert flips out, demands custody, only to discover that the son he adored isn't his. Shock horror, court case.

Pretty predictable. Rupert is brilliant, although not as OTT as he was in My Best Friend's Wedding, but it's his film. Never mind some woman who sometimes sings. Who cares? Rupert is perfect in this kinda role.

There are no extras on this DVD. Not a trailer, not even the video to American Pie. What a shame. Thankfully, it was only cheap. Not memorable. But a slice of fun anyway. February 25, 2008

Muddled and Confused accent , acting and movie. -5

OMG. This movie is a -5
Madonnas ridiculous half British accent is beyond annoying.
If the people working with her had any kind of balls they would of told her she sounds like an idiot.
The director should of forced her to clean this up.

Brit's everywhere cringe at it and as a yank who knows accents and has many British friends I was disgusted at the pompous mixed up cadence in her affected wannabe fake accent.
Now that I got that out of my system, the acting in this movie is so bad, they should show it at acting schools on what not to do.
So wooden, her timing is awful. My gosh her voice is so flat and monotone.
She did seem to suddenly lose her accent in the scenes with just her and the kid and was not bad.
She made sure she looked good in every scene, and like someone else said the lighting man must of been paid extra to give her soft golden light no matter what the scene was.
Also rather gagging was the way everyone keeps telling her how beautiful and wonderful she is???
What was that all about?
It rang hollow and contrived to say the least.
Rupert did the best with what he had, the little boy was pretty good and Benjamin Bratt was the most believable thing in the whole movie.
(except when he told her he loved her!)
Then when she just moves out and takes the boy, it gets ugly.(ier)
It is very cliched and gay bashing, like sterotype statements about being gay and from people who oppress the gays.
It seems very 1980-early 90's, move on already.
Lawyers and judges in NY would of never said that stuff. Then when Rupert makes his speech saying
"It seems all I do is worry about blood, my whole life is about blood" What is that?
Many people have already told the twist in here, but they really messed up by making the kid not really his.
What a mess this movie is. It never seemed to decide what it was trying to say or be. Comedy? Drama? New family roles? Sell out at the end?
It did keep my attention for a few hours on TV, where it seemed like it should of been in the first place, (total lifetime movie and a bad one)
The ending is so abrupt I think the producers knew it was unfixable.
Watching the actors muddle through this mess was entertaining in it's own sick way! Now I feel like watching a real movie to get rid of the taste of this one. December 21, 2007

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