The Crush (1993)

A precocious and obsessive teenager develops a crush on a naive writer with harrowing consequences. Alicia Silverstone and Cary Elwes star in "a top-notch thriller.

"I LOVE you Nick and you love me!!!"

This was a favorite movie of mine when I was in middle/high school. I saw it in a bargain bin last Christmas season, and picked it up. It wasn't as thrilling as I remembered, but it was still pretty good. Beautiful, brillant, rich, charming, and a psychopath sets her eyes on the renter of her parents guest home. She's one that never hears the world no. Okay, some of the plot, especially at the end is really far fetched, but besides that, it's a movie I can still enjoy. August 1, 2007

Your Sides Will Ache From Laughing At This Unintentionally Hilarious FATAL ATTRACTION Wannabe!

Don't tell us they don't make Bad Movies like they used to. The Crush, a 1993 gigglefest about a teen psycho-nymphet who makes life a living hell for the twice-her-age writer who's renting out her parents' guest house, is a Bad Movie gem. Alicia Silverstone plays this Lolita-ish minx--think Poison Ivy in a Wonderbra--who one second is displaying herself nude to renter Cary Elwes and the next is trying to murder his photographer girlfriend, Jennifer Rubin, by shoving swarms of buzzing wasps into a darkroom's ventilation system. We'd guess that Silverstone, who rapidly exhausts her repertoire of three expressions (coy, steamy, wacko), honed her acting licks studying the oeuvre of Cybill Shepherd. When she chirps lines at Rubin like, "Don"t worry, Amy, some guys really like girls with small breasts," we can only hope for Silverstone's sake that some guys like girls with teensy talent. And we'd guess that Elwes, who rapidly exhausts his repertoire of one expression (self-enchanted), honed his acting licks by studying the oeuvre of Ryan O'Neal. Just like O'Neal in What's Up, Doc?--but that movie was intended as a comedy--Elwes hopes to pass himself off as an intellectual by donning specs. Indeed, when Silverstone finds him chomping on a cigar while writing, he explains, preposterously, "Helps me think."

But it's in its crackpot plotting and kamikaze ripoffs of other moviemakers that The Crush attains Bad Movie nirvana. When Elwes can't hack a Pique magazine assignment about a Michael Milkenesque arbitrager, 14-year-old Silverstone secretly rewrites his story so brilliantly that it becomes a career-maker for him. Later, explaining her actions, Silverstone--who sounds to us like she's learned every word of her dialogue phonetically--says, "Your split infinitives put such stress on the adverbs."

For plot reasons, Elwes's character just up and becomes stupid, which the actor does manage to convey. Long after Silverstone has etched a rather nasty word onto the hood of his car, made a room into a candle-lit shrine to him and phoned him to say, "Guess what? Got my period. Definitely not pregnant," you'll be screaming aloud, "Ever think of moving, Cary?" Of course, if he did, we wouldn't get to savor such prize moments as Silverstone cooing, "Ever do a virgin?" Or the scene in which the heroine's rich daddy, wielding a pair of pliers, tells Elwes what he plans to do to the horny guys his little girl will soon attract: "Some friggin' kid'll be standin' there with his hard-on stickin' out of his pants," he says. "Hope I don't go breakin' it off!" By the time Silverstone gets around to the most implausible plot twist of all--she accuses Elwes of raping her and people actually believe her--you'll be breaking in half with hilarity.

With two stars incapable of having a crush on anyone but their mirrors, we're afraid that writer-director Alan Shapiro's crush on Alfred Hitchcock is the only crush on display: Silverstone freaks out in full riding gear, like Tippi Hedren in Marnie; when Rubin fights off those wasps, it's shot like the finale of The Birds; then, falling, she grabs a curtain, like Janet Leigh in the Psycho shower. In the absurd climax, Elwes fights for his life on a twirling carousel straight out of Strangers on a Train, only this one's in an attic (don't ask).

Our favorite moment, though, is an original. Elwes, disturbed from his sleep by chopping noises and angry screams, investigates to find a sweaty, crazily wide-eyed Silverstone hacking away at lemons. He asks what she's doing and she hisses, "Making lemonade. Want some?" When you're ready for a long cool drink of laughter, buy The Crush.
July 29, 2007

kind of lame and a waste of time

I got it for Alicia Silverstone. The actress who plays the male lead's girflriend does some interesting things and is rather charming.
And the main lead? The male lead? The guy's name is Elwes, I believe. I only wish the director could have asked him to wipe that dumb grin from his face. Oh yeah, fake curls (over either eye) do not make actors
(in their 30s) suddenly look to be in their 20s. This sort of thing gets to be annoying--and is witnessed (usually) in turkey flicks like this.

As I said, the only real reason to see this is Alicia Silverstone, although, to be sure, she got better looking as she got older and matured as a woman.

Got the DVD quite cheap--otherwise would have probably passed on it. June 5, 2007

A Lolita from hell

This was Alicia Silverstone's debut film after which she went on to star in some Aerosmith videos (what red-blooded American male can ever forget seeing her and Liv Tyler in "Crazy"?) after which she got the lead in Clueless (1995) and the rest is cinematic history.

In Clueless of course she was a sweet, adorable and slightly empty-headed Valley Girl. Here she is what might be called a Lolita from hell. Director Alan Shapiro even has her do a Sue Lyon (from Kubrick's 1964 Lolita) looking-over-her-sunglasses imitation to start the film. We soon learn that she is 14 "almost 15." (Silverstone was actually 15-years-old during the filming.) She is also rich and very talented, plays a classical piano, knows the scientific names of beetles and wasps, has skipped two grades, etc. The film itself might be dubbed a kind of "Fatal Attraction" for teeny-boppers.

Cary Elwes plays Nick Eliot who is looking for some digs as the film begins. He is a writer who just got a gig with an important, trendy magazine. After nearly bumping into Adrian (Silverstone) with his car, he looks askance and sees a sign advertising a cottage for rent in back of a large house with estate. Turns out this is where Adrian lives with her parents.

Somehow this reminds me of William Holden as the writer Joe Gillis pulling into that driveway on Sunset Boulevard (1950). He should have looked in the other direction! He should have run the other way! When Little Miss Crazy gets a crush, it is a hum-dinger. Maybe Nick should have just surrendered at the start and she would have been bored with him in a couple of months at most. But unfortunately, Nick Eliot is the epitome of the clueless male. He doesn't see the danger until it is too late. He is slightly compromised because he has kissed her, he has wandered about her house when her parents haven't been at home, and worse yet he doesn't have an inkling of the strength of her passion. To be honest I felt a little sorry for her having to deal with all that rejection! I think this would have played more realistically had Adrian's part been given to an ugly little shrew in the making. But then of course the film would not have found any kind of audience.

Well, this is a familiar premise and the kind I like to see worked out and resolved--well, I like to look at Alicia. Unfortunately Alan Shapiro, who also wrote the script, has the originality of a photocopy machine and just milks the premise while mindlessly escalating the bizarro. Suffice it to say that Little Miss Crazy doesn't take no for an answer and that Nick stupidly behaves in a way that just makes his situation worse. The ending does have the virtue of being nicely ironic while suggesting the hoped-for sequel. March 28, 2007

entertaining movie

this movie is about a 14 year old who is obsessed with a 28 year old neighbour and stalks him and doesn't everything she can to manipulate him and the people around her just to get close to him. When he doesn't give her what she wanted and tried to stay away from her, she accused him of molestation and planted evidence because she was a sicko who was not getting the attention she desperately wanted. This movies show you just how easy it is to be manipulated by people who do things for selfish reassons August 15, 2006

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