Universal Soldier - The Return (1999)

When robotic acting is a benefit

The Jean Claude Van Damme Review Matrix (JCVD-RM)

1. Who is he? Luc Deveraux, former US soldier in Vietnam who, when killed by friendly fire, becomes part of a military medical equivalent to Frankenstein, the Universal Soldier (UniSol).
2. Which family member/friend must be avenged? As a humanitarian soldier, Deveraux considered friendly Vietnamese his friends. It's just too bad his Sergeant didn't.
3. Does he take his shirt off? It's probably because he's dead, but JCVD is shirtless in a faux cryogenic, stasis in bubbling water scenes stolen straight from comic books, as well as whenever the UniSols are back in the mobile lab or in a vat of ice. I'm sure the ice thing was written in specifically so he could take his shirt off.
4. Does he have sex with a C-List actress? Thankfully he didn't...otherwise this movie would have involved necrophilia.
5. Is there a tournament? There is no sanctioned tournament, just UniSols going about their mission.
6. Is training needed for this tournament? Quoting the awesomeness of Stripes, "Aaaaarmy training, sir!" (Which is odd considering both movies are about ridiculous military situations)
7. Does he do the splits in training or in the tournament? Even though it's not explicitly part of the plot, he nonetheless manages to form an upside-down "T" during a fight scene.
8. Does he punch someone in the balls? Although it's slightly off camera, it appears JCVD delivers three solid punches to the jewels of Sergeant Scott (Lundgren). Given JCVD's propensity for nut-shots, it's safe to assume knuckle met scrotum.
9. Does he do a series of flying or 360 kicks? Not only does he fulfill his normal helping of spin kicks, but he adds a few new versions into the mix.
10. Is his enemy unbeatable? It sure seems that his enemy is unbeatable. In the final battle, Deveraux kicks Scott in the face five times in a row, and the only thing Scott does is laugh.
11. Does he overcome an injury or other hindrance? Well, technically he's dead, and there's some sort of combination of UniSol injection and ice water bath requirement for keeping a soldier recharged, but otherwise he's good to go.
12. Does he win? With the help of a wood chipper - and a final line of, "You're discharged, Sarge" - Deveraux literally tears Scott apart.

With some great wire work in some fight scenes, and tons of head shot gun play, the action is top notch for this JCVD iteration. The plot is interesting enough to have spawned more than one sequel. And Dolph Lundren makes a solid appearance in the meeting B-action superstars. What's great is that both main characters are supposed to be resurrected cyborgs, and each of their respective robotic acting ability just happens to be perfect for the role. Nothing new here; just JCVD being awesome yet again. September 12, 2008

My husband loved it!

My husband loves this movie so for his birthday I got it for him. The DVD arrived quickly and was in great condition! August 4, 2008

Universal Soldier

I said it then and I say it now, boys just want to have fun. Okay since when are guys not allowed to enjoy macho soldier movies? And ladies keep in mind when our toys are taken away yours will follow shortly thereafter. Sure this movie may not have any great acting, but actually the directing, costumes, sets, effects, and music aren't bad. Van Damme and Lundgren play soldiers that died in Viet Nam while fighting each other over killing a prisoner. The next thing you know it is thirty years later and they wake up in a special refrigeration truck with the latest in war toys and they are part of special unit designed to go in and perform miraculous fetes of physical endurance and prowess. You know, run down dams and things so they can rescue hostages. Probably why most guys enjoy this still. This is actually probably at the top of the heap of movies made by Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren. Although I must admit I love "Timecop" and "I Come in Peace". I actually cracked up when they commented on Van Damme's accent in the movie and asked if he was French. So it goes to show they even had a sense of humor. If you like action packed without alot of redeeming societal morality and political correctness then welcome to fun time with macho men fighting, shooting lots of bullets, and blowing things up. Great quality DVD with some special extras, decent replayability. June 9, 2008

Guilty Pleasure Movie!

Looking at it now, the film was pretty corny but it still is a scary thought! Not to get political but don't think someone in Washington, DC hasn't thought about doing what they did in this film!

Back to the movie, it stars Jean Claude Van Damne and Dolph Lungren. For me, Dolph made this movie more than Van Damne! I actually found his character funny as well as sinister. Van Damne's character was definitely a straight shooter here.

Overall, it has good action, a few cheesy moments but also a few memorable catch phrases (some of which I can't repeat here). It isn't the best movie for either action actor but its okay overall. April 16, 2008

I need some Ice

Universal Soldier DVD

It all began in the jungles of Vietnam. Two dead soldiers were rescued from death in a secret governmental program. Unfortunately some memories still linger. This movie pits Jean-Claude Van Dame against Dolph Lundgren. Who do you think will win?

Recommended for fans of Jean-Claude Van Dame and Dolph Lundgren.

Gunner April, 2008
April 15, 2008

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